I confess: for someone who is about as Type-A as they come, my closet is a disaster. I’m not even apologizing because we all have a place labeled “put-stuff-here-and-leave.” Some need drawers, I need closets. To each her own.
Recently, in a weird twist of fate (mercury retrograde?) I spent hours cleaning said disaster…opening bags, donating clothes and weeding out three-year-old Whole Foods receipts. Throughout this process I realized that while this might be the first time I’m literally addressing clutter, in a way, I’ve spent months doing so figuratively.
Last year, my life was cluttered with more than material possessions. My body, from head to toe, needed some TLC. Really, from my mental health down to my foot. As I’ve discussed (at length), my primary concern was/is my stomach: an ulcer, leaky gut, tanked adrenals and H. Pylori. From there, the “cleaning” has slowly staggered over to other parts of my life.
First body, then mind and now closet, obviously a crucial stage in the process.
It’s taken me a long time to sort through the “mess” I brought home from school. I needed to address different aspects of my self, say goodbye to things that didn’t serve me and (hopefully) make room for new opportunities…for new great things to come.
So, awesome! I’m 21, my closet is clean and I’m heading in a good direction. I’m all set for the rest of my life.
Quite the contrary.
I’m not naive. Nothing magically changed overnight. I’m still a jobless post-grad who is confused about life (but please hire me!). I know very well that my closet will get messy again….even next week for all I know. There are many lessons still to learn and many more bags to unpack. Yet now I understand that it’s a process of realizing a change is needed, evaluating the “mess” and then acting.
My whole closet debacle set off a light bulb. Well, maybe a candlelight because it wasn’t that dramatic. I’m proud of my Internet home but want to do more. I want my blog to grow with me and my interests. As may or may not be evident, over the last few months I’ve struggled to produce content. My posts been random, sporadic and lacking the “why.” Not to say that’s all ending today or that I have a profound new path, but I’m more motivated to do some, let’s say, sprucing up over here.
I thought I started cleaning for aesthetic reasons, and maybe I really did. If that’s the case, this has been another episode of me stringing together metaphors and thinking out loud. However, as I’ve learned this year, it seems to take me some time to stop and say “WOAH. This needs some love and attention.” I guess the trillionth walk by my closet was the turning point.
Truthfully, my closet and I aren’t our best selves yet, although I did just buy a shoe rack so the closet is winning. We’ve made room for new things (and clothes) but there’s more work to do. I’m may not be where I want to be, but you better believe that I’m working my way there.
In summary: cleaning is good, change is gradual and Whole Foods receipts do not need to be saved.