I really need to loosen up. No, not physically (but I do need to go to yoga). My desire for structure has gotten out of hand this summer. It’s no secret that I love my routine and while it does keep me calm at times, it has caused me a lot of stress this summer. I’ve written about this before but this is something I’m still working on.
This past weekend was amazing. I had an awesome time with my best friends and laughed more than I have in a long time. But, truth be told, I was not looking forward to the trip. It’s almost embarrassing to admit, but I had anxiety over it. It’s not that I wasn’t excited to see my friends, it was that I didn’t want to leave my routine.
Most people would think of this as no big deal (because it shouldn’t be), but I over thought the situation and panicked. I worried about silly things like missing my Saturday run, not sleeping well, and being pressured to drink. I kept thinking about my routine and what I “needed” to do that I wanted to rush through the weekend.
Luckily, the drive on Friday gave me some time to think and I began to rationalize the situation...
What’s the worst thing that could happen if I didn’t run? Well, it would kind of suck but it’d be worth it if it meant spending time with friends.
What if I don’t go to sleep until 2 a.m.? Then I can take a nap when I get home on Sunday.
What if I feel pressure to drink? Umm my friends know me and know that’s not my thing, so why am I even worrying?
By the time I arrived on Friday I was energized and excited for the 48 hours ahead. My “worries” kind of disappeared and they didn’t bother me again. However, I did think about how I reacted to the situation and I wasn’t proud of that. I hope I can use this experience as another reminder that my routine is NOT the end-all-be-all.
Like most things in life, it’s really all about how you look at the situation. By rationally responding to my own concerns/questions I was able to turn dread into excitement, something I don’t normally do. While a weekend away might not mean anything for most people, it was a tiny-win for me. And with that, I can confidently say that I look forward to more (small) breaks from my routine.