This is written in true Thinking Out Loud fashion. I’m not too sure if this post makes sense or if I successfully made my point. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about lately. I’m curious to hear your thoughts so please chime in and feel free to disagree- I could be off base here.
For every article about losing weight, staying motivated and eating clean, there is one about loving your body, resting and eating in moderation. Our bodies seem to always be the talk of the town. Am I right or am I right?
Now, I fully understand that by writing about this I’m somewhat countering my argument, but stick with me.
I feel like in the past few years the topic of body image has exploded. It’s in every magazine, on every blog, in TV shows and movies. Everyone wants to voice their opinion and, while there’s no shame in that, it’s sad that this is still a topic of discussion. It’s sad that we have to read and write posts about how to love our bodies and be happy. It’s sad that we are so prone to looking for answers outside of ourselves. It’s sad that we talk about our bodies and wanting to “tone up” more than we talk about actual events or personal happenings.
But it makes sense; negative body image is something we all battle, whether we admit it or not. And as far as we have come in the blogging community, media and in society in general, we have a long way to go…especially in daily conversations with friends and family. ***Side note: Eating disorders and disordered eating are unfortunately common, but for the purpose of this post I’m not referring to those topics.
Rough days are normal. What’s not normal is the need to talk or think about it 24/7. Why can’t we just not always think about our bodies? If we are healthy and happy shouldn’t that be enough?
One of the reasons I don’t talk about this too often is because I don’t want to add fuel to the fire. I don’t want to be just another person telling you to “love your body.” One million people telling you that will never change how you feel. I wish it was that simple, but it’s not. However my “silence” doesn’t mean it’s something I’m not passionate about…quite the opposite actually. I want everyone to feel happy and proud in their skin and I try to “practice what I preach” in life and on this blog (actually I try not to preach at all and do my thing, but that’s a topic for another day). Yet by writing about it for no reason I often feel like I’m just restating the obvious and making people (even myself) think about their appearance when they weren’t in the first place. Does that make sense? There are times when I do think about body image/related topics and, in that case, I may find the experience worth sharing.
Not to discredit any of the body positive lists or how-to’s out there OR to say they don’t have value (they can be extremely helpful for some people), but I enjoy reading more reflective, personal posts that have a “bigger meaning”. Check out Hayley’s blog– she’s one of my favorites. Instead of telling me what to do, show me. Those are the posts I value and learn from. Maybe I should be more open to the how-to and generic posts but, again, lists can only do so much. Change happens from within.
Again, by no means am I saying those posts are insignificant, but I’m more concerned with the reason behind it. It’s one of those “speak if only necessary and kind” situations.
I’ll end with a crazy proposition: instead of always talking about either of the two extremes (weight loss/toning up vs. loving your body), let’s just live and see where that takes us. Maybe, just maybe, it could instill change for the better. That’s what I’ll be trying to do over here.
Who’s with me?
This makes total sense to me and is constantly on my mind as I watch my nine-year-old head into being a tween. This isn’t anything I’ve ever really struggled with. I pray I can still help her navigate…
Carla recently posted…4 ways texting enhances my relationships.
I totally agree with you. I thought about this last night as I saw a preview for My Fabulous Fat Life show, come on. It just amazes me that as a society we actually care about how a fat person lives..or a skinny person, or a dwarf. I’m over it, seriously. Thanks for sharing….Have a great day
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Heather recently posted…Still going strong day 9, check out this bread!!!!
Love this! And I totally agree. While it’s great [in theory] that there’s more attention being given to the idea of loving our bodies, I hate that it still makes them a focal point of our attention. Recovering from my ED was impossibly difficult for me when all I did was focus on recovering — you know? It wasn’t until I started shifting my attention to actually -living- that everything else seemed to fall into place as well.
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #147 .
YES YES YES. I have stopped thinking about my body/body image in general because I know for me it’s just not a healthy obsession. The less focused I was on food/exercise/body image, the healthier I became and the more relaxed I am. We’re all going to have days where we love our bodies and we’re all going to have days where we hate them. It’s not something we need to talk about in detail- it’s just life. Taking those topics off their pedestals would make for a healthier world in general, in my opinion.
Sarah @pickyrunner recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #?
Super interesting perspective and I totally agree with you, even though I AM someone that talks about body love and all that jazz frequently. It’s a tough line because I do think we need more of that in the world, but I also wish it just wasn’t a thing at all and we didn’t have to talk about it. Unfortunately, I think we do, but like you said I think the posts of lists of how to love your body or whatever don’t actually serve anyone. I think discussing it openly but also walking the walk by living a full life is what helps the cause. I also think your approach and just embodying it, while not always talking about it, is probably the most important of all. <3
Hayley @ Full of Life recently posted…I Trust Myself (I’m Running a Half Marathon)
I love this post. Really interesting approach at discussing the topic of body image. I often think “I wish this were different” followed by “I should only have positive body image”. Why is it always one or the other… I wish it was neither!
Jamie recently posted…All the (Holiday Week/end) Miles 8/31 – 9/6
Goodness I feel like I wrote this myself. I agree 100% and it’s something I’m so passionate about, yet it’s like why do I need to be another one of the countless articles?! Totally relate. It’s hard to explain and you just did it for me haha.
Annie recently posted…Search Terms
I totally agree!!!! I hate the posts that talk about this as there are WAY too many and they ALL say the SAME thing and obviously it isn’t helping anyone or they wouldn’t need to be continuously written!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine recently posted…Italian Chicken Meatballs & Sweet Potato Spaghetti
LOVE this so much! I completely agree! I also think that by focusing so much on body image we can often feel that if we don’t love our bodies we’re doing something wrong, or we have something wrong with us.
I’m at my happiest when I’m not thinking about how my legs look in those jeans, or whether or not my shoulders look great with that sweater. I’m at my happiest when I can just be, experiencing life in the moment, not worrying about my physical body, but about nurturing my soul. Interestingly enough, exercise and eating healthy are great for the soul! But worrying about the aesthetic side of it all helps no one!
Great post. :)
Rebecca Lindenbach
Rebecca Lindenbach recently posted…DIY College Survival Kit
I completely agree with everything you said, lady. I think it is SO sad that we live in a time and society where we’ve been trained to dislike our bodies and need to write about them to help validate our sentiments. Take me back to a time where it was considered okay to just be satisfied with yourself! The main reason I moved away from being more in the “healthy living blogger” category was because it drove me crazy reading about other girls who were unhappy with their looks. When you see so many people criticizing themselves, it’s hard to not feel the same about yourself. Even though I’ve never had an ED, it was triggering and not any category I wanted to be placed in.
Loved this post! Very well written. <3
Christine@ Apple of My Eye recently posted…Shrimp Cobb Salad
I think you make a really valid point here! There’s so many people who frame loving their body as this revolutionary thing – but what we really want is for it to be a natural thing. I think sometimes when there’s so many people who are SO in your face body confident, if you’re not confident with your body then you feel really inadequate. I don’t know if that makes sense! Thanks for providing a new perspective – it’s very refreshing! xo
http://www.seattlestylista.com
More doing. Less talk. I like that. ;-) You are making me think about the way I write my posts too. Thanks Emily!
Emily recently posted…What Newbie Waitressing Looks Like
Weight is such a weird thing. I’ve lived in a skinny body, a fat body, and now normal (according to BMI). Funny thing, no matter what size it seems like everyone has things they don’t like about their body. When will we learn to stop being obsessed?
Wendy @ Wholistic Woman recently posted…Mr. Poy Never Gave Up {#marathon training update}
I agree with you! Something I noticed in Italy was that the mirrors in their homes, bathrooms, restaurants, etc, were only the right size for you to look at basically your shoulders and above. And with all of the amazing food over there, I don’t think they give a crap about what your body looks like haha! Just something I noticed and thought about when reading this :)
Christina recently posted…True Life: I am Digestively Challenged
This is an amazing post friend! I was just talking to a friend about this today and how in college I didn’t care what I looked like. I was an athlete. I ate whatever I wanted. I drank whatever I wanted. I was strong. I was an amazing and successful athlete. I was happy and body image was the last thing on my mind! There is so much pressure today on women and I am sick of it.
She Rocks Fitness recently posted…I Made A Choice…Part IV
This is such a good discussion post and I completely agree that the number of counteracting messages around health, fitness and body image definitely increases focus on these topics.
Although this is not necessarily a bad thing, it can be incredibly confusing, and as someone who has experienced disordered eating, it is difficult to get to grips with your own body’s needs when one piece of information is telling you to ‘do this not that’, then the next says the complete opposite.
I think you hit the nail though, when you talked about just living. When I was four, I ran around playing soccer like a headless chicken because that’s what I loved to do, I devoured veggies because they tasted great and came in lots of pretty colours, and I slurped on ice-cream by the seaside because it was a yummy family treat after a day on the sand. Not once did I think about body image, I just lived…and in some ways (although impossible), I think it would be great if we could all regress to that innocence once in a while!
Its a difficult topic to approach without a natural inclination to take up a particular opinion but I think you have tackled it really well. Although people in this blogging world are united by a love/ interest in/ passion for health, fitness, running and self nourishment etc. (which is a wonderful and inclusive thing!) this is just one aspect of all of our lives and it is always great to hear about the other adventures that make each blogger such a unique and rounded person. xx
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I 100% feel you on this and try to approach my blog (and life! and parenting!) this way :) Yes, of course I think we should love our bodies but me telling you why and how won’t help in my opinion. I don’t preach to my daughters, either. I sneak in things here and there but body love and image is not the focus. I try to show not tell, I get what you’re saying here.
Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…Being Responsible and an Upcoming Race
I’m with you! I feel like that is a very “French” way of approaching body image. They eat real food, enjoy their wine, walk a lot, and enjoy their life! They seem to intuitively know how to pay respect to their bodies.
Dani @ Dani California Cooks recently posted…Edamame Slaw (gluten free + vegan)
First of alllll, you always express yourself so well, so don’t worry about your posts making sense, or counter-arguing with yourself :)
To be honest, I wish I could stop thinking about it. Like you said.. we’re always concerned with one or the other (toning up, losing weight, etc.) I think it stems from humans’ tendency to just never be happy with what we have. It’s sad! I guess part of overcoming it is just being conscientious of it.. like you are :)
Have a great weekend, Emily!
Emily @ Sweets and Beets recently posted…Deliciousness in Dallas
I love this post! You are so right that even speaking about positive body image can be too much. A gentle reminder can help but again, talking about positive image so often can still be too much and affect some in certain ways, not that we expected. Awesome points!
Heather @Fitncookies recently posted…Baby Brown 35 Weeks
First of all, you totally made your point make sense. I couldn’t agree more. I do my best (not always succeeding) to share lessons I’ve learned through stories because those are often what resonates with me and help me change.
I personally think my best days are the days I just don’t give a damn, instead I’m just living, appreciating my body because it lets me do cool fun stuff.
Thanks for always keeping it 100 and being a voice of reason in often generic and hyperbolic blog-world XOXO
Georgie recently posted…Chicken-less Tenders with Pesto Dipping Sauce
Love this; I totally understand where you’re coming from. Wanting to accept our bodies/selves yet wanting to improve the same (toning, losing or gaining a few lbs, etc.) is totally normal and OK, but why do we have to beat a dead horse? I’ve written a few “love your body” posts, but I agree we’re too obsessed with it. For me, I try to remember that, yes, I have a body. We all do. I try to treat it well but to focus more on what it allows me TO DO (run, lift heavy things, grow a baby, nourish said baby, etc) rather than if I love my legs/butt/hair/etc for the moment. Great thoughts!
Catherine @ foodiecology recently posted…What I Ate Wednesday At Home (Let’s Not Make This A Habit)
This absolutely makes sense! It really is a shame that we all need daily reminders to “love our bodies.” It’s sad that we don’t all just naturally harbor self-respect, self-compassion, and self-love. While I am grateful for every single person out there that is working hard in the body positive movement, it definitely is upsetting that the movement even needs to exist. You are SO right about how more conversation is had about bodies and how to “improve them” or how we feel about them instead of spending time where we are actually in the moment and outside of ourselves and our thoughts about our bodies.
Really interesting and refreshing perspective on this whole issue. Thank you for sharing!
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Wow. Good post. I’m just reading this after a week at the beach where I spent a lot of time comparing my body to others and beating myself up for poor food choices and dreading coming home and getting in a dress for my sisters wedding. Ugh. I have a very hard time not comparing myself to others and judging other people. I know it’s bad but it’s like it just happens without even thinking. I would see really heavy people and think how do they go to the beach (I know im such an ass) or then see a tiny girl eating lettuce and think we’ll at least she’s miserable to look like that. I caught myself so many times no by the end I was just sick of myself. Thinking just like u say…..why is body image the first thing I go to. Why can’t it just not even be a topic of convo or thought????? I don’t know if I’ll ever get there but I sure want to get better!
Thanks, Tara. I think we naturally and subconsciously judge and assume things about people, so don’t beat yourself up for that. It’s great that you recognize it though and know it’s unhealthy to compare/judge. I don’t know if we’ll ever get there as a society but we can take small steps for a positive change!