This is that rambling life post I decided to postpone from last week until today. A little self-reflection on my experience this summer in the form of some thinking out loud. Thanks, Amanda!
Comparison is an ugly thing. I’ve talked about it before (and probably will again), but it’s something that I try hard to fight. Today’s comparison sub-topic: success.
Successes, challenges and setbacks are very personal. For example, running a sub 8 minute mile would be a huge success for me, but it may be considered slow for you. Taking on a new role or job may be a challenge for you, when it’s something I actively and excitedly seek out, not necessarily the case, just an example. Regardless, it’s all relative, and what we each deem a success or an accomplishment is deserving of that title.
And, because I don’t like reading preachy blog posts (aka posts without blogger self-reflection) and I’m 20 years old so what the heck do I know, let’s get real…
As I’m sure you know (considering I write about it every day), this summer has been a challenge for me…in the best way possible. However, I am was somewhat embarrassed to label it as such when I see my peers are studying abroad for semesters, living thousands of miles away from their families year-round, traveling the world, and pretty much doing well on their own. What does my little two month New York City experience have against those things? Nothing, I thought.
Even though I jokingly refer to this summer as “study abroad,” in reality, it was just as big of a change for me. So what if I was still in America? This was a new environment, culture, dynamic, job, home, etc. Sure people speak English here (you’d be surprised though) and I can read road signs, but everything else was unfamiliar to me and I had to adjust. The fact that I did so is something I am proud of…something I want to openly be proud of.
I think there’s a big difference between bragging and sharing our successes. I don’t think we should actively seek attention, but it’s not a crime to be happy for our achievements, especially if it was a challenge to get there. Yes, I realize I’m actively seeking attention by writing about it on my blog, but go along with it. Whether your personal victory is trying a new food, exercising more, exercising less, starting a new job, cutting back on spending, etc., it’s important to keep it in context with YOUR life. Not your best friend’s life. Not that blogger’s life you *think* you know all about. Not some societal standard. Your life.
It’s natural to compare and strive to be the best (admittedly still working on this), but there are no quantifiable standards. You define your success, just like I define mine. My successes this summer ranged from living more spontaneously to not getting grossed out by holding the poles on the subway (admittedly still working on this too).
It’s been rewarding and refreshing to not feel accountable to anyone else’s standards and I’m hopeful that this trend will continue.
What was your latest and greatest success? Please share!
I completely empathise with this post! There are so many outward measures of success; times, distances, academic grades, promotions…etc. that the small leap in your heart that you feel when you achieve something nobody else would consider a success (like getting in the correct lane at a roundabout for the first time!) is so often disregarded.
There are so many ‘big’ things I hope to do (and spending time studying or working in New York is one of those – I live in the UK) but there are equally as many ‘small’ things which I know will personally challenge me just as much.
It has been really interesting to read about your experiences this summer and I hope on the whole you have enjoyed your adventure. What sort of internship have you been doing?
xx
Hi Charlotte! Thank you so much for your comment. I have greatly enjoyed my adventure this summer. Looking back I am very proud of all the “little” wins as well as the bigger ones. I hope you get the chance to come to NYC :) I’m working in sports management!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Emily! I think not comparing is so crucial for being satisfied where we are…but obviously that’s SO much easier said than done. Adapting to life in NYC this summer is a HUGE change. NYC really does almost feel like a different country in some ways because the style of life is so different!
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Thanks, Liv :) It’s crazy how easy it is to compare our lives to others…especially when we read and write about them on the internet haha. But on the whole, I’ve gotten better at letting the comparisons go.
I think living in NYC would be so hard and it is almost like a different country. The culture is definitely very different than a lot of the US. You’re right it is so important to not compare ourselves to others. You don’t know what anyone is going through behind closed doors.
Even though I know all too well that people post and/or talk about their “highlight reels,” I fall suspect to the comparison. Getting better though!
You hit it home with this post once again Emily! Success is SO different person to person and although it can be hard to not compare our own measures of successes to others, I think it is so important to realize that our own success is different from someone else’s success. I try to take every blog I read and every Instagram post I see with a reminder to myself that my own success is different from someone else’s success. It is great to see someone run an extremely fast mile, but I still have to remember to be proud of my own successes and where I am in my own journey.
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So glad you liked it :) Taking things (especially from the blog word) lightly is crucial, but I still need a reminder every now and then. We can be proud of others and of ourselves. There’s enough success for us to share.
I love this. It’s so, so easy to feel like your success isn’t as successful as someone else’s because theirs looks bigger from the outside. The thing is, that’s just the external view. It’s entirely possible that the seemingly “smaller” success took more courage or effort on your part, not that the amount matters. It’s just important to realize that if something takes you outside your comfort zone or challenges you, and you adapt and thrive, you’re successful, regardless of what other people are doing. Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks, Ellen :) I love what you said about the effort/courage. We really are all on a different part of our “journey,” as corny as that sounds.
It is so easy to compare ourselves to others these days with the influence of social media. We really just have to focus on US and what makes US happy and what we consider our successes and not care what others think. Love this post! You have a wise soul and I love it…xoxo
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Social media is a huge contributing factor. I go through love-hate relationships with it. Following your lead and doing what makes me happy :)
This is my favorite. I was nodding my head the whole time and I think it’s something that isn’t talked about enough. I am guilty of doing this too – downplaying my own successes because in light of someone else’s life, they aren’t a big deal. But you are SO right that we must keep everything in context of our own life. And also like you said, it’s okay and even good to celebrate our successes. I am definitely proud of you and you should be of yourself for spending the summer in an unknown territory causing you to really push your boundaries. Regardless of the country, it’s still a huge deal. You go Glen Coco ;) <3
Hayley @ Full of Life recently posted…Thinking Out Loud
Well, you are MY favorite so I guess we’re even. I love that you celebrate your successes on your blog too, regardless of if it would come easy to someone else or not (because, who cares). Thanks for the love <3
YES YES YES. Challenges are personal. You should have seen me reading this blog post because I about smacked the table in agreement with you five or six times. I have been shaking my head the entire time. What’s difficult for you might not be difficult for me and vice versa. It’s just how the world works. And to be honest, I find that quite beautiful. it means we all excel in different areas of life, and we are all beautifully unique. Agh, this is one of my favorite posts you’ve ever done!
This summer has been a huge leap for you, and I am continually impressed with how well you’re managing. It’s okay to be scared about. I think you are doing incredible, and I know this doesn’t carry much weight considering I am a random internet stranger, but from the outside looking in, I think you are not just simply managing. but you are thriving girl!
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You have become way more than a stranger on the internet and I so value and appreciate your comment and support. I love reading about your successes (and lessons learned) too so keep sharing!
Love this! I wrote a similar post about defining strength. Everyone is different. We have to respect our own successes and take pride in them!
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I’ll have to check out your post. I’m so glad you feel the same way!
I totally love this post. I really admire how reflective you are on all life situations. While it’s easy to compare, we all know “comparison is the thief of joy”. You have so much to be proud of, and whether stepping out of your comfort zone is moving hundreds of miles away in the US or thousands of miles overseas… you’re still putting yourself out there which is a lot more than most people can say. You are absolutely inspiring and I wish I had more of your courage when I was younger. I am so glad you’ve grown to enjoy your time in NYC and can carry that with you for the rest of your life. You have learned so much about yourself and no one can take that away from you! : ) Hope you have a fabulous Thursday!
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Sometimes I think I’m too reflective, but I’m glad you get something out of it ;) This summer has been, to put it simply, priceless.
I think it’s so cool that you get to spend the summer in NYC! Your experience is just as amazing as the person you know who jetted off to Italy. You are learning so much about yourself AND having fun. What more do you need?!
EXACTLY! Fun, friends, (extended) family, food and lessons learned…seems like a win to me. Thanks for your comment!
Honestly? I think that adapting to living in NYC is a HUGE accomplishment that you should be super proud of. I’m pretty sure that city is known for chewing people up and spitting them out, so a big kudos to you for managing it :) I know the comparison trap is an easy one to fall into, but just keep reminding yourself that we all have such different circumstances, thoughts, and beliefs, that we basically have no ground for comparison.
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #139 .
Thank you so much, Amanda! It might have spit me out if I was here during the winter haha
So true. What may be a significant milestone for me could totally be considered non important to someone else and vice versa. We all have our happy moments where we achieve something extraordinary to US, and those precious moments should never be pushed aside and ignored. I am definitely someone who needs to work on these aspects!
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Hopefully this can come easy to both of us soon :)
I can relate to so many things that you have said. Even though I did travel abroad for a year and was seen to “have it all” I still would find myself comparing my life and choices to everyone else around me. It’s hard to accept that yourself for who you are especially when there so many influences surrounding us. My latest success would be that I finished my year in Paris without quitting. As tough as it was, I’m proud I stuck it out.
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I just discovered your blog and have loved catching up on your posts from abroad. You have SO much to be proud of!
NYC is like a different planet! There’s a whole other language and culture in itself :P
I totally struggle with when to put to put the blinders on and focus on what I’m doing and when to let others’ successes inspire (not create jealousy) in me.
I have noticed, the more you genuinely support other people the more their success feels like a collective win.
Love your thinking out loud posts! <3
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