Depending when you read this I’m either studying, taking my last final exam or on my way home for break. Let the holidays finally begin!
Having a blog has turned out to be pretty useful. If I need to find out what I ate the week of July 15th, I can just scroll through my old posts and find out (most likely chicken and sweet potatoes). If I want to know what the weather was like 27 days ago (because I somehow always talk about it), I can click back 27 days. If I want to remember what I was thinking before the semester started? You guessed it, blog to the rescue.
While I may have a good memory, I tend to remember facts and not feelings. I remember what I wore on the first day of every year of school. I remember who I sat next to in class. I remember what I had for lunch. But I don’t remember how I felt. I don’t remember any anxiety or excitement. I don’t remember my fears at the time.
If I didn’t have this blog I might have generalized my thoughts pre-semester as “nervous, excited and dreading the work.” Yet I know my feelings were so much more complex. I have proof that they were.
I was dreading the transition back to college. Transitions of any kind are really hard for me, but I especially hated leaving my family and going back to Miami. I was very restless, anxious, lost and even embarrassed because I was a junior feeling all of this. In the beginning I kept myself busy with activities to try to distract from the pain and I constantly wanted to escape. Four months later, I’m so glad I didn’t.
As the semester progressed I fell into a routine and instead of fearing downtime, I welcomed it. I came to terms with the fact that Miami is where I go to school and it doesn’t mean I’m stuck here forever. I learned that I don’t have to be one of those people who says “college was the best 4 years of my life.” This is just a stepping stone for better things. With one year left (I graduate a semester early), I’m excited for my future. I have things I want to accomplish during my time left in Miami that don’t involve receiving a diploma, although that is at the top of my list. I’m not expecting the last year to be easy by any means, but I think I have the tools to make the adjustments easier.
But for now, I’m very happy to be adjusting back to living at HOME. This one should come pretty easy to me. Bring on the home cooked meals and naps on the couch.
Do you remember feelings or facts?
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
You know how rough my year has been (I was going to write a post-first semester post too!). I did fall into a routine, but it was so robotic and the days just kept going by with nothing very good. I don’t want that. I do want to enjoy SOMETHING about college, but yes, “I don’t have to be one of those people who says “college was the best 4 years of my life.” I know i won’t be. I am too antsy and just want to start my LIFE and be working in a field I care about. I have a long way to go, and I have no idea what will happen nest semester or the next years.
Being a college student is hard…this age or transition is so confusing!
XOXOXOXO Safe travels home my friend! Now savor that family time!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine recently posted…Snickerdoodle Breakfast Cake
This post really seemed to resonate with me, especially the part where you said you only go to school in Miami and you’re not stuck there forever. I feel the exact same way about my school and city. For some reason people seem to make college seem like it’s their whole world when in reality it’s only a small chapter of their lives. Thanks for reminding me of this Emily, great post and extremely well-written!
Thanks for your comment, Ruya! I completely agree. This is just a stage of our life, not the highlight. We should of course make the most of it, but it’s a stepping stone to our future. Have a great day!
Going into college I believed that these were supposed to be the best 4 years and our “prime”, but I think these are more formative years. We’re still learning about ourselves and figuring out what we want to do in life. It’s a confusing time, especially the first semester! It gets easier, I promise.
Rebecca @ MyEagerFeet says
Sometimes I wish I had socialized more in college looking back on it (even though I was perfectly happy at the time), and I start to worry I’ll never have any amazing long-term experiences like that now that I’ve graduated. But I’ve realized there’s still tons of opportunities out there, I just have to be more proactive. The environment isn’t really as big of a factor as I make it out to be. Congrats on being done for the semester!
Rebecca @ MyEagerFeet recently posted…Run Less Run Faster: Week Seven
Thanks, Rebecca! It feels good to be done. You’re right, there are tons of opportunities out there for new jobs, relationships, friendships, experiences. None of that is limited to college only.
Sam @ The Running Graduate says
Congrats on finishing the semester – I bet it feels great! I hope you enjoy your winter break and go back to school refreshed.
I’m the same way, I tend to remember things, but not thoughts and feelings. In a way I tend to like it so I don’t dwell on those things. Plus, it makes the beginning of each semester feel like a new beginning and the clean slate that I always feel like I need.
Sam @ The Running Graduate recently posted…Nuunlove and home for the holidays! [TOLT 18]
Thanks, Sam! I’m already enjoying break so much. I hope I can view the new semester in a similar way: a clean slate :)
Emily @ Sweets and Beets says
Wow you have such an interesting perspective on college! I admire you recognizing that Miami is where you go to school and you’re not stuck there forever. I do think it’s important to make the best out of whatever situation you’re currently in! <3
By the way… I'm pretty sure fall semester of my senior year was the first time I *DIDN'T* cry when leaving home to go back to school, haha. It seems so silly now! ;)
Emily @ Sweets and Beets recently posted…Office Holiday Party on the Roof of Whole Foods
Glad to know I’m not the only one who hates leaving home! It never gets easy!