I’ve thought about this blog (and my lack of posting) almost every day for the last three weeks. I even stockpiled a bunch of one-liners in hopes that one would lead to the in-depth self-expression I needed. It wasn’t that easy but it helped.
I want to just say “I’ve been busy!” and make everything better. That’s neither the full story nor the best way to approach this situation because, and I quote the annoyingly true cliché, “you make time for what’s important.” Whether I write three times a week or once a month, this space is still very important to me. That’s not changing. This blog just began in a different stage of life and now it’s shifting and adapting and rolling with the punches in my current stage—one I’m not super comfortable or confident in yet.
So, what’s up? Aside from having a job that’s 90% writing and wanting nothing to do with my computer at night, I’ve been both uninspired and self-critical. Given the current climate of our country, the suffering in the world and the saturation of content online, my words and viewpoint feel inadequate. We all have the ability to read and write AND start a blog, so the sheer fact that people have read my rambles over the past two years is both humbling and confusing. Why does anyone care what I have to say? There are much better, more experienced writers out there! Why do I care about [insert topic]? Is there substance to what I do? Am I just another number? (These are questions I ask myself. No need to answer).
Really, I spent a good portion of Sunday morning reading the (“failing”) New York Times, the local paper, some blogs and a magazine. HOW, WHAT, WHY would I want to share any more information? My lack of credentials, not to mention my status as a still-living-at-home-22-year-old rank high among my qualifiers, although both are lame ones.
It’s possible I’ve been indirectly influenced by the more pressing issues in the country. It’s possible that society is at a climax of information, device and drama overload and I’m just taking a hit. It’s possible that my seemingly endless running break has made for some confused, random thoughts. Answer: D. All of the above.
I also recognize how a need for instant gratification and approval can be compounded by social media and blogging. Perhaps my lack of posts are also because I don’t want what I share to come from a selfish place? But is that possible? Or is social media selfish in nature? I want it to come from a place of curiosity and creativity, and maybe it does to an extent. They may say I’m an over thinker. But I’m not the only one.
Sooooo…as inconclusive as this post is, it’s a pretty accurate depiction of my life right now. I’m trying to find the energy and inspiration to share again, along with the self-confidence that what I say matters—no qualifiers needed. Until then, I’m loving February in Florida and continually learning at work. My journey didn’t get a fairytale ending when I got this job (I never thought it would). It’s just continuing…highs and lows and all :)
However, for as infrequently as I’ve been reading and writing blogs I do miss the community. If there are any readers out there (you rock for making it through this post), I would love to hear what you’ve been up to! What did you do this weekend? What’s something you’ve been loving lately?
All the best until I check in next. Yes, that (stretch of a) rhyme was intentional.
Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie says
Your voice totally matters in this community, Emily! I used to struggle with sharing recipes that were not super creative, but basic and easy, and I always felt like I was not contributing to anything. But I watched a YouTube video (I wish I could remember what it was called and who was speaking) and the lady talked about how even if what you are posting is not out of the ordinary, you are you and you have a unique and different approach and voice on the matter. Something someone else says may not sit with them, but if they hear it from someone else in that person’s own voice, it may resonate more with them. If that makes sense… anyway I hope to see more from you on the blog :)
Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie recently posted…Things I Am Loving Lately
Sweet Em, people don’t come just for the information. They come because they love to learn about you as a precious human soul. I want to learn about you, to hear what things you’re learning (they don’t have to be earth shattering), God made you with precious value and a voice, and I appreciate when you share your thoughts. I know what you mean about sharing a voice and feeling like we are inadequate. But I do know that in Christ Jesus we can be totally secure. We do care about you, and we do love the voice you share.
Emily recently posted…Tough Life Questions: Am I Ready To Face Death?
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday says
I think about this a lot. “Who am I to write about x?” But I like to think that even if I’m writing on the same topic, I have a little bit of a different take on it. I always find your posts insightful and relatable, so I *at least* walk away feeling like I’m not alone in thinking a certain way. I’m the first to admit that social media and blogging can get superficial, but I also think it can be enriching and is a solid way to form connection, which we all need a little more of (I think). Anyway, when you have the time and inspiration, I’m always interested to see what you’re thinking.
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…My First Half Marathon (+ Weekend Recap)
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
We’re always waiting for you when you WANT to write in your space! Your loyal friends always want to hear what you have to say and the thoughts going on in your head! xo
Kaitlin @ California Endless Summer says
RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! Goodness girl, your words speak right to me. Those first two paragraphs explain exactly what I have been grappling with the last few weeks (months?). It’s a balance between desire to write and guilt to write. It’s a balance between wanting to step away from my computer outside of the workday and then wanting to write and share some form of knowledge (or rambles). It’s this community that makes me realize it’s all ok – whether we do write or choose to take a break. We got your back! xoxo
Your voice DOES matter. I know I love hearing what you have to say on here. We all have your back in this little blogging community when you feel it in your heart that it is time to write again. Sending lots of love!
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Heather @Lunging Through Life says
<3 <3 Here for you whenever you come back! Hope things are going well. We've been battling a terrible season of sickness up north but I'm eager for spring to arrive!
Heather @Lunging Through Life recently posted…Top 5 From the Weekend
Sending a lot of love Em. Sometimes, a break away from social media can do us all the world of good. Your friends will never go away and completely understand that there are stages of life that we have to ‘do’ rather than ‘document’.
All of your thoughts and words matter. You are incredibly intelligent and when you do want to share things again, your writing will be as eloquent as it has ever been. Xx
Susie @ Suzlyfe says
Sweetheart, I hear you. You are going through a lot right now, weather it feels it or not–I understand all too well what you mean y your “problems” and goings on feeling small. Right now, I am dealing with thoughts of small fish, big ass pond. But you know what I realized? I still have the right to my little fish family. I am still important to my little fish family. What I am trying to say is that you are important, your opinions matter, and we love you. We are here for you when you want to talk, but if you need to just take a backseat, we will drive you for a while. At some point, you will want to drive again. I promise.
Love you. I’m always here for you. ALWAYS.
Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…How to Make Friends and Influence People (Weekend Recap)
I completely get what you’re going through. It’s a big part of why I stopped. BUT I also know this community is amazing and they’re here when you want to write, and also when you don’t. I was wondering if you’d pop back in at some point and I’m glad you did! I hope all is well with you and I’ve missed your words <3
while i totally get where you are coming from i hope you dont feel like people don’t care what you have to say ! Who says who is “qualified” to talk on a topic ? I do get the feeling of info overload lately and the sort of depression that you might be feeling based on the state of the world today. I also hope you know that just because you post about something light hearted – i never take it to mean that’s all you are or how dare you post about your love of avocados on a day when people are dying in Aleppo. We all need both. We need serious news (not to be confused with alternative facts – i couldn’t resist), but we also need recipes, career advice, and thinking out loud posts. you write what you know and what you feel and you are an expert on that ! i would also say…as i read your post an underlying thing you are pointing to is that we can only learn from experts or people with experience, etc. i know you know that’s not true but maybe we all need a reminder of that ? i am older than you and more “experienced” at work/life, but i have learned from you on the topic of celiac and living with it long term. What you have shared about finding and starting a new job have been great reminders/info for me after 13 years at my company. For christ’s sake i’m to chicken sh*t to even have a blog myself ! This is my totally f ed up, in-eloquent way of telling you, no matter who we are and what we have done, we all can learn from each other. And i view your blog as a tool to learn – whether its how you navigate the world with celiac, your morning routine, your running adventures, or your thoughts on a serious news item if you so choose. Its your space, do with it what you want, just keep doing it :)
Catherine @ A Cup of Catherine says
Emily! I think about this all the time (maybe more so because I also have a child…or maybe less, who knows?).
The blogging community is awesome, but I selfishly blog. It’s my outlet but I also struggle with “so people want to read this?” and “why does my view matter?” and “shouldn’t I be taking about THIS instead?”
I wrote a post recently about whether bloggers should always stay “on brand” or use our platform for social/political thoughts. I think the answer is different for everybody, but I’ve found blogging to be much more comforting and fulfilling FOR ME when I write whatever the heck is on my mind (in a respectful, inclusive way, of course)..
So, girl – your voice matters and, yes, we come here for motivation and insight, but sometimes it’s just good to hear from you. Take those breaks when you need them and don’t be afraid to be yourself.
Catherine @ A Cup of Catherine recently posted…Am I A Healthy Living Blogger?
Kaila @ Healthy Helper Blog says
I CARE. Always here for you when you’re ready to come back! <3
Casey the College Celiac says
Even when you were writing about not having the inspiration of what to write about…you still spoke to a feeling we can all relate to. No matter the political climate, our level of experience, etc. sometimes it’s easy to psych yourself out and wonder if anyone really cares or needs to hear what you have to say. Well, as these comments imply…we do! :) Keep chugging along with your job and life. And we’ll be here for whenever you need to write!
Casey the College Celiac recently posted…How to Embrace The “Season of Life” Mentality During Hard Times
Julia @ Drops of Jules says
Love that you’re writing all of these out. Through our emails, I saw so much strength. You’re doing so well, even if you don’t feel that way. I cannot wait to see where your future takes you.
GiGi Eats says
It makes me sad to think that you think your voice doesn’t matter. We are all put on this earth for specific reasons, you have a purpose and a reason and you need to stand confidently with it. You are such a wonderful person (however I have not met you) but I can just tell through your posts!
GiGi Eats recently posted…Addressing the LARGE Elephants In The Room
Hi!! I’ve been away from the blogging world as well and I feel the same way. It is kinda frustrating, but for me personally, I don’t have the time to commit like I did when I first started my blog (grad school sucks all life away some days lol). Jumping back when you’re ready is something I have to tell myself often. Until then, taking a break and enjoying other things is good too! xo
I was just thinking the same kinds of things today (and will blog about it to get my thoughts out). I am really really busy but also am like what do I have to share? It’s hard, but glad you are enjoying Florida!