I had another post planned for today but the universe works in mysterious ways.
Yesterday I had an atypical case of the Sunday blues. I wasn’t necessarily dreading Monday morning, I just hit my breaking point of emotions and it happened to be a Sunday night. I wish I could blame these feelings on the Eagles losing but that’s a different issue. As often as I write about my struggles on this blog (and in a personal journal) sometimes I can’t find the words to articulate how I feel. I have so much I want to express – and plenty of emotions to support – so it’s frustrating to feel a block. That was most of my Sunday…and weekend.
After watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile (which is really good you should watch it), I started to re-group for the week ahead. Despite trying to monitor my social media use, I logged onto Facebook for some distraction. The first post on my feed was a link shared by one of my favorite bloggers, Jen from Peanut Butter Runner. I opened the article, read it and cried.
Those were the words I had been searching for.
Take a minute and re-read this short post and then come back here. Please do it.
“So savour the simplicity of your pre-dreams-come-true time. Love the egg you’re in. Because not too long from now—and right on time, you’ll be spreading your wings and life will never be the same again.”- Danielle Laporte
Patience has never been a strong suit of mine. When I want something I want it yesterday. As I’ve discussed, things aren’t clicking or moving exactly the way I’d like them to. I often feel like it’s a fault with me, as I’ve never believed that doing, hustling and searching came secondary to waiting. The cycle of effort and defeat in the job search is paralyzing and I’d be (even more) lost without prayer and an incredible support system.
I waiver between loving this interim stage and itching for it to end. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to heal my body and reconnect with family but I wish I knew what was next. Letting go of control and doing the best I can in the moment might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done (relative to my 21 years of life). However, I’m learning that being the best daughter, sister, friend, blogger and human being I can be is not contingent on a job. I can love where I am now, even if it’s not so glamorous.
Knowing that you aren’t alone in your thoughts and emotions is kind of magical. This magic lifts you up from your dark hole, gives you a big squeeze and offers you a snack. It’s a comfort. If anything, I hope by sharing my rougher times I can be that comfort for someone else, even in a different situation.
My time will come. Your time will come. When it does, our eggs will be ready to hatch.
A bit inconclusive and random but it’s what I’m feeling right now. I hope you spread some love today. Be nice to everyone, red or blue <3