I had another post planned for today but the universe works in mysterious ways.
Yesterday I had an atypical case of the Sunday blues. I wasn’t necessarily dreading Monday morning, I just hit my breaking point of emotions and it happened to be a Sunday night. I wish I could blame these feelings on the Eagles losing but that’s a different issue. As often as I write about my struggles on this blog (and in a personal journal) sometimes I can’t find the words to articulate how I feel. I have so much I want to express – and plenty of emotions to support – so it’s frustrating to feel a block. That was most of my Sunday…and weekend.
After watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile (which is really good you should watch it), I started to re-group for the week ahead. Despite trying to monitor my social media use, I logged onto Facebook for some distraction. The first post on my feed was a link shared by one of my favorite bloggers, Jen from Peanut Butter Runner. I opened the article, read it and cried.
Those were the words I had been searching for.
Take a minute and re-read this short post and then come back here. Please do it.
“So savour the simplicity of your pre-dreams-come-true time. Love the egg you’re in. Because not too long from now—and right on time, you’ll be spreading your wings and life will never be the same again.”- Danielle Laporte
Source
Patience has never been a strong suit of mine. When I want something I want it yesterday. As I’ve discussed, things aren’t clicking or moving exactly the way I’d like them to. I often feel like it’s a fault with me, as I’ve never believed that doing, hustling and searching came secondary to waiting. The cycle of effort and defeat in the job search is paralyzing and I’d be (even more) lost without prayer and an incredible support system.
I waiver between loving this interim stage and itching for it to end. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to heal my body and reconnect with family but I wish I knew what was next. Letting go of control and doing the best I can in the moment might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done (relative to my 21 years of life). However, I’m learning that being the best daughter, sister, friend, blogger and human being I can be is not contingent on a job. I can love where I am now, even if it’s not so glamorous.
Knowing that you aren’t alone in your thoughts and emotions is kind of magical. This magic lifts you up from your dark hole, gives you a big squeeze and offers you a snack. It’s a comfort. If anything, I hope by sharing my rougher times I can be that comfort for someone else, even in a different situation.
My time will come. Your time will come. When it does, our eggs will be ready to hatch.
A bit inconclusive and random but it’s what I’m feeling right now. I hope you spread some love today. Be nice to everyone, red or blue <3
The egg you are in. How lovely. Definitely sharing this this morning. I think we could all use some perspective!
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It came at a much needed time. Very thankful!
Yes yes yes.
And it took me 47 1/2 years to get here.
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I have no doubt there will be many more situations when I feel like I’m in the “egg.” A good lesson in patience!
How true! Sometimes it’s just so hard to love the stage you’re in without wishing for the future. It’s hard to be out of school and not have a job yet but I know you’re trying to enjoy it because one day you’ll look back and wish for it again. I know I wish for other times that I couldn’t wait to get past before. Definitely thinking of you this week and just hoping today is a better day <3
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Thank you so much, friend. Your words mean so much to me <3
I love love love this, Emily. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and positivity on this Monday morning :)
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Thank you for reading :)
There are so many of us 20 somethings feeling this way. Especially now. I can relate 100%. It scares me how it’s already November and I’m no where where I hoped I would be. It’s even scarier with student loan hovering over my head.
With you in the egg.
Things will look up soon!!!!
Robi, thank you so much for your comment. Even though the days seem long, time has flown by (and that scares me too). Sending you a big (virtual) hug <3
I’ve been having plenty of the impatient times lately and totally needed to see this last night. Thanks for liking it right as I glanced at the little activity feed on FB. ? I’ll carry the positivity with me into another new and busy week!
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Sending you so much love <3
Mmmm, and that is one hard thing to grasp and keep in mind!
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Small reminders help <3
As a 30-year-old (cringe), I often look back on my 20’s with a kind of awe. It’s not a longing to back there, but an amazement of what I had. There was so much freedom, space and time to grow–nothing I ever appreciated because it was also a time of struggling to figure out my career, my own interests and constantly comparing myself to friends who seemed to have figured it out so naturally. I wish we could go back and tell our younger selves to enjoy the journey, not worry so much, and enjoy the ‘in-between’ decade, where you’re no longer a kid but your responsibility begins and ends with yourself. This piece is beautiful, thank you for sharing and for being so open yourself. :)
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Mollie, this was fantastic advice and I really appreciate you sharing. It’s such a weird time but I know it’s for a reason.
Sending a very big hug across the ocean today. Whilst things aren’t going anywhere fast at the moment- I am sure that in 5/10/ however many years time- we will look back and be so grateful for this time with family, to pursue hobbies and for all of the work we’ve done to get to that next step xx
This made me smile. Thank you for the pick-me-up xo
Contentment. This is something that I’ve struggled with, but I really do want to be like Paul in Philippians and just be content in whatever place i am, because that really is right where I need to be. Thanks so much for this reminder Em. <3
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God has a plan for us <3
I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’re only 21 and at 28 I’ve decided this is just a recurring feeling during your twenties!
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So I’ve heard! I know my age plays a factor in how I see things too.
I love this!! Great words for a Monday morning. Well, any morning, actually.
I agree- I can use this reminder any day!
This is so great. A few years ago I made a real effort to stop constantly saying “I can’t wait for (blank).” I was always looking forward to what was next and not focusing on the little things that make each day/phase great. Obviously I still struggle with this sometimes but this was a wonderful reminder:)
That is something I need to work on, no question. There is so much good in every day and I could do a better job of being present :)
I’ve found myself recently comparing where I am in life to others. So many of my friends are getting married, having children, starting their own businesses and here I am drinking beer at a bar on Sunday watching the Chargers (almost lose haha). But you know what I’m okay with it. I’m happy and think I’m exactly where I need to be– thanks for sharing this :)
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And reading that makes me happy. I fall into the comparison trap easily and often dismiss the good I have going for me.
Patience is soooo not my virtue either…I feel for you…it’s a tough place to be in! But your time (whatever that looks likes or means!) will come..prayers friend!
Your words are such a comfort. Thank you!
I love it when you read something that just speaks directly to you.
I just finished the book ‘Present over perfect’ by Shauna Niequist which I think you would like. It hit me harder than I was expecting it to.
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It’s an incredible feeling. Thank you for the suggestion! I will look into it :)
Thanks for sharing Emily. Exactly what I needed to hear today!
Thank you for reading, Rebecca! I hope you had a great day :)
Wow girl, were you in my therapy session today? Lol, this is exactly what I am going through right now and something that my therapist and I talked about today. Embracing were I am and not being so hard on myself. A lot of my issues right now are related to perfectionism and patience. I feel slightly out of control as far as school and my future goes. However, I know that I am right where I am supposed to be and that taking the time to enjoy this chapter of my life will benefit me so much more than stressing about it. We don’t have to have all the answers !
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Being in the “waiting” phase is never fun. Praying you sweet girl :)
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I struggle with patience too- when I want something, I want it now. And when I work for it and don’t get it, I get down on myself and sad. This is such a good reminder- thank you for this post <3
you are just to cute. i mean that in the best way not in the condescending way it might seemits like i can feel your epiphany through the screen ! the other day i was in a training class on how to be a better leader/communication styles type thing. honestly it was sort of a waste of time training. the only thing i got out of it was a single nugget that was off topic but it fits here. the guy was describing loneliness. basically saying if you are lonely at work you are disengaged, etc. but his definition of loneliness is what struck me. he said it is not being alone or the absence of people. its the feeling that nobody gets you. that no one has your back. more the absence of feeling understood by someone or a small group of people. for me this resonated so well. i am surrounded all day by people but often feel like they dont get me or i dont have that one person who i can say “you know its like this” and they are like “oh yea i get what you mean”. And it all sort of clicked for me when he put that definition up there. He talked about how important it is to feel heard/understood/gotten. blah blah blah that has something to do with being a better leader of people. i think with social media i certainly have less face to face girl time with friends or family and i think that is why i feel this way a bit. so long story short isnt it awesome when you feel like someone else gets it ? and that we are all in this together ?