One of my favorite Instagrammer’s/writers, Cassandra Bodzak, posted something earlier this week that struck a chord with me. She wrote about a very popular topic here in blog land…balance. I will never be able to write and convey my thoughts as eloquently as her, but I’m going to try…
How many posts have you read about achieving balance? I’ve read dozens. Hell I’ve written some myself. These posts aren’t bad but, like most things in life, they aren’t one size fits all. Today, I’m not referring to HOW you balance things but WHAT balance LOOKS like for you.
Why do we assume that in order to be “balanced” (or #balanced) we have to splurge on junk food occasionally? Or we have to spend some late nights partying? Or we have to get drunk once in a while? Why do those stereotypes reign supreme?
It’s no secret that I eat very healthy. I’ve been told multiple times that I need to have more, let’s say, “ish” in my healthyish life. More treats, more splurges, more “balance.” Look, I’ve tried the stereotypical balance and, let me tell you, I do NOT feel balanced. I feel sick, rundown and lethargic. So what if my version of a splurge is a night with me, myself and a jar of nut butter? Or a big steak and potato dinner? Or a weekend spent on the couch? Just because those things makes ME feel balanced doesn’t make me disordered, structured or weird. They make me me.
I’ve admittedly judged others for not being what I think is “balanced.” (Like my way is right or something…). I’m done with that. I think as long as someone is happy and healthy (very important), then they deserve to do what makes them feel good. If that balance is running every day, good for them. If it is having dessert every night, awesome. If it is eating strict Paleo, great. If it is a big glass of wine after a long day, perfect. We should not shame what makes others happy.
My version of balance as of late
My balance is not your balance and your balance is not mine.
I recognize and understand the counter argument. I do not think it’s healthy to claim balance if you really aren’t physically and mentally healthy in your current lifestyle. But that’s not something I’m going to discuss today.
Finding that happy, balanced place isn’t easy, and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get there. In the meantime, I refuse to succumb to societal pressures and pre-conceived notions anymore. You do you, I’ll do me and we’ll get along just fine.
NO NO NO BALANCE HERE EVER OR AT ALL.
harmony.
I strive for harmony
xo
CARLA recently posted…I owe nothing to other mothers.
I love that word. It is encompassing of the message that I wanted to convey.
I decided on BalancingB as my blog name because I think balance is something that is ever changing and personal. We need to do what is right for us and respect that others are doing the same (aka no judgement). Finding inner peace is how I find balance.
Brynn recently posted…Six Months with Mitchell
Balance is ever-changing and, looking back, my balance was so different last year (not that it changes by calendar years). Not judging others OR ourselves is crucial in finding that inner peace.
Love this! We need to take ourselves out of the equation! I love the Amy Pohler quote: “Good for her, not for me” this goes right along with your post
Rebecca @BeTrulyNourished recently posted…Dear FoodBabe: Your Fearmongering is Making People Unhealthy
Thanks, Rebecca! I read that quote recently and loved it. Simple and to the point.
O gosh! Amen to this! So 100% right! Balance is SOOOO different for EVERYONE!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine recently posted…5 Fun Things To Livin’ Up Your Spring
Thanks, friend! Like most things in life, what works for one person will not work for everyone.
I can’t even put my head around balance. When I hear balance, I think of those scales with weight on each side. I instantly think in terms of for every productive “thing”, there is counterproductive “thing”. I like to think more in the terms of Carla, harmony or even, consistency or mindfulness. I try to strive more for making all the parts of everything work best for me: family, work, fitness, food and friends.
Melanie recently posted…Goal Checkin’ – Spring Edition
I agree with you (and Carla)! It annoyed me to even write the word “balance” as much as I did in this post. I can’t imagine how exhausting it would be to calculate balance in quantifiable terms (one “good” thing one “bad” thing). In a way, I think it becomes just a feeling that doesn’t require an even list on both sides of the spectrum.
Yes!! Exactly!! That! :)
Melanie recently posted…Favorite Quick Workouts
Love this. So true. I’ve found myself judging others for their “balance” but we’re all different and what works for me, may not work for others. Great post!
Sarah @ Sarah’s on the Run recently posted…Spring Training Update.. or lack thereof?
It can be hard to stop the judging (believe me) but, especially in the blog world, we never know what’s really going on with someone. Some people would look at my running and consider it too low for them, other’s too high. For me, just right.
Ok I love this. I feel like it really is assumed that balance means the same thing for all people and the way you talked about this is spot on. See for me, if I didn’t eat a few decadent desserts throughout the week, I would not feel balanced for ME. But some people might feel sick if they were to eat that way so often. I think this is so important and not really talked about, as if there’s this all encompassing balance formula that everyone needs to follow. Thanks for talking about this!
Agreed! Thank you for your comment. It’s important to recognize and accept both sides of the “balance spectrum.” We aren’t all the same and some people’s happy medium will learn toward one end of someone else’s spectrum (if that makes sense).
Love this!! We all have our own definition of balance when it comes to food, exercise, social life, etc. And you’re right- what works for one person won’t work for another. Even in my own life, my definition of balance has drastically changed but what matters is that I (and you!) are happy and healthy. Great post :)
Sarah @pickyrunner recently posted…Get Outside.
That means a lot coming from you! Even finding a balance with running, as I know you understand, can be difficult. What works for some runners simply won’t work for everyone.
I agree with you but I do hate people who pretend to be “cheating” or treating themself and it’s really still something super healthy. I know it’s still judgey, but I don’t think a square of dark chocolate is a big cheat of the week. I fit in my pizza and ice cream and beer along with my salads!
Lauren recently posted…Summer Snacking Tips with Kozy Shack® Simply Well® Pudding {Giveaway}
I know what you mean and agree to an extent. But I think it’s only an “issue” if the person is not healthy or happy in their lifestyle. Meaning, they don’t have strict rules.
This is a fantastic post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic. Very inspiring and something everyone should read!!
xo,
Tatum
thepaceblog.wordpress.com
Tatum recently posted…Paris
That means a lot! Thank you.
I could not agree more with this. Just because my definition of balance may be different than yours doesn’t mean I am in any way wrong. Everyone has their own forms of balance and that is what makes us all enjoy different things in life. A date night with a jar of peanut butter is how I and you enjoy balance and although it may not be how someone else finds their balance, it is still perfectly acceptable.
Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie recently posted…Easter Weekend Recap
I think it has been hard to find (and proudly admit) my sense of balance in college. Not only is life different every semester, but what I consider balanced is not typical of college students.
Love this concept! I never thought of it that way :) Honestly, I’m still finding my balance. Right now it’s looking like I spend one weekend allowing myself to eat & drink as I please, and the next weekend is spent shopping, cleaning, doing long runs, etc. My balance has honestly evolved so much over time! Like you said, there’s no right or wrong. xo
Emily @ Sweets and Beets recently posted…Marvelous Monday ~ Simple Pleasures
Reading Cassandra’s post was really eye-opening because I never thought of it that way either. My balance has evolved, too. And I’m sure as soon as I feel (somewhat) “settled” life will through a curve ball. But that’s what makes it exciting I guess.
Beautifully written Em! Balance is such a great thing to strive for but definitely hard to perfect. It’s so easy to get on track with health and fitness but then have it become an obsession and have it go too far. It also goes the other way too…like when I find myself eating poorly it snowballs into an ice cream every night kinda deal haha. I actually stopped wearing my Garmin watch because I was obsessing too much about hitting the number of steps per day and I felt a little crazy. But I don’t think balance is something anyone has to have figured out completely, I think it should be a lifelong process of adapting to different life stages and whatever else life throws at you :)
Lacey @ Runs and Roses recently posted…Giving Yourself Grace.
Thanks, Lacey! It’s very easy to let something become an obsession, at least I find it is for me. I think it’s a lifelong process too and our “happy medium” will always be changing depending where we are in life.
Such a great discussion topping that I think so many of us think about a lot especially in healthy blogging. Balance is thrown around so often I almost feel like it’s beginning to lose its meaning. Part of my own balance is learning to live in and out of my comfort zone. That means pushing myself to be more social and meet new people but allowing myself to be alone, which I need to recharge. It’s also finding balance between my ambitions and my relationships with people I love. I think the fact that there’s no one definition makes life the wonderful, crazy, messy, hectic, fantastic thing it is.
I agree, balance is such an overused word…and I (over)used it a million times in this post lol. Your idea of balance is something I’m striving for as well. Living in AND out of my comfort zone. It makes sense…not teetering to one side too much. It allows us to experiment, make mistakes and have wonderful experiences.
This is so awesome and SO TRUE! What works for me probably doesn’t work for you and that is OKAY…We need to do what makes us happy and what makes us feel good. All of what you like to do is exactly what I like to do too…Great post…short sweet and so to the point! XOXO
She Rocks Fitness recently posted…New Beginnings…The Negative Voice
It can be hard to accept that one size does NOT fit all, but that is the ultimate truth. Let’s have a Netflix-almond butter night and vent :)
I have to admit that I too sometimes judge people on their sense of balance for being different than mine. But you’re totally right that everyone needs to find what works best for them. I know some people fit it lots more training than me, but to keep myself happy while working full time, I need a little more free time than that allows. And that’s perfectly okay!
Rebecca @ MyEagerFeet recently posted…Making My Own Training Plan
I’ve been in the same boat. I’ve silently judged people for training what I consider too much or too hard (it would throw off my life balance). But to each her own :)
YES. So much YES to this Emily. Health encompasses so much, and it is individual for everyone. It is kind of ridiculous to try and fit into a box and tell every single person that they need to conform. That’s not healthy at all! It’s one of the main reasons why I love your blog so much. You are honest and real- I am so glad we connected! As long as whatever one is doing is not harming themselves, I think it is fine. I tend to splurge more than the typical girl, but I know that that is what makes me happy, so I am not bothered by it.
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me recently posted…WIAW WIAW WIAW WIAW WIAW
Your comment made me smile :) Exactly, as long as our balance is not harmful to our health (on either side of the spectrum) and we don’t feel constricted to a certain lifestyle, then we should be able to live as we want.
Yes! Absolutely! This is something to which people should give some serious thought.
Another thing that I think a lot of people struggle with is the idea that your balances will change in life. I like to think of our lives as being made of different seasons that shift and change. The way we eat and train and socialize, etc, may be different 6 months or a year from now. For many people, myself included, that shifting can sometimes be uncomfortable — we think we should be doing what we were doing a year ago, even if that doesn’t fulfill us in the same way.
Being introspective enough to recognize what balance is to you, and to accept it as it changes, can be very challenging but very rewarding!
Kalin recently posted…The Tactical Strength Challenge
Thank you so much for your comment. I could not agree more…my balance now is not what it was a few years ago. And that’s not a bad thing! Refraining from comparing our current balance to that in a different time in our lives is hard but very important.
This is excellent. Everyone achieves balance differently because, simply, everyone is different. Knowing yourself and your body is key, and I think it’s fabulous you recognize that!
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…Day in the Life #5
Thanks, Ellen! I have to remind myself that everyone is different because it can be discouraging when one thing works for someone else but not me.
great post ! i agree with what others wrote and as one said the term balance makes me think of the law icon of the 2 scales which makes me feel almost pulled by two things. and makes it seems like there are right and wrong things/food/training/thoughts. which oddly is the opposite of actual balance in your life : )
i think for me i am silently very judgy and jealous of people (especially online people where you really never know the real truth) and wonder “how can they run that much – i should be doing that” or “they are eating all organic and paleo and meat free and no this or that or whatever” obviously that’s how they have such a perfect life. for me…the internet is both good and bad. i have learned so much and connected but its also upped my comparison meter (if thats a thing) and caused me at times to lose that idea that what works for me doesnt work for others etc. Why is it we have such an innate sense to judge and compare ourselves. is this a girl thing ?
I was thinking about it being a “girl thing.” Thanks for mentioning that. It would be interesting to do a comparison. Joining the internet/blog world, while great and eye-opening, has been hard because I can very easily fall into the comparison trap. I try to remember the “highlight reel” idea and that we only see a small part of someone’s whole life.
So very true! I think a lot of people are very quick to go all judgy-mcjudgerson on others for not conforming to the same standards of “balance!”
Farrah recently posted…Foodie Friday: Pineapple Chicken Quesadillas
Judgy-mcjudgerson…I like ;) And I’m guilty of it, but actively working to break free of it.
This is such a great post, Emily! You are exactly right that balance looks different for everyone individually! It’s something that I also write about and that I am STILL trying to perfect in my own life! As we grow and change, so do our definitions of “balance”. It’s just a constant self-improvement effort!
Kirsten Horton recently posted…Is Your Planner System Working Best for YOU?
Thanks, Kirsten! You’re right…it’s a constant work-in-progress.