I’ve wanted to publish this post for a while, as it’s been in my drafts for weeks. It’s never going to be perfect but I want to get my thoughts out now.
For my entire life I’ve had a plan. That’s the Type-A in me. I’ve always known what was going to come next, whether it was the next day, week, month or year. But I know I’m not alone in this. Even if you don’t realize it off the bat, think about it, going to school for 15+ years you always know that after 6th grade comes 7th grade. After 7th grade comes 8th. Your plan might not be specific, but it’s there. You know what is going to happen down the line.
Now that I’m about to finish 16th (?) grade next month, also known as graduating from college, it’s the first time in my life I don’t have a concrete plan. Like Phoebe so brilliantly stated, I don’t even have a “pla.” That fact alone has been tough for me to swallow.
Why? Emily always has her sh*t together. She always studies and does well. She is mature for her age. Blah, blah, blah. (<– all my internal thoughts, not actual statements by actual people). Honestly, not going straight from college to grad school or a job felt like a blow to my ego. Key word: felt.
The truth is, I want a break. I’m fortunate enough that I’m in a situation where I don’t have to kill myself job-searching right now. I can afford to spend some time looking for one that fits. I have a long list (literally on a piece of paper) of things I want to do after graduation. Some will be beneficial in the long run (photography classes) and others are just things I WANT to do (travel, cook, write). It has taken me a very long time, but when someone asks me “what are you doing after graduation?” I confidently answer “taking time off at home.”
Honestly, this is part of the reason I worked so hard to graduate early. I wanted time to myself before entering the workforce. I also won’t even be 21 by the time I graduate (story for another day) so I don’t feel a rush to “grow up already,” even if so many of my peers are doing the opposite.
Why am I telling you this? Because this has been an important lesson for me in not caring what other people think. I thought I was pretty confident in my decisions/appearance/actions before but now I’m even more so. I spent a good few months agonizing over my “future” and post-grad plans and it caused a great deal of stress (job-searching, wondering where I should live/move, etc.). I was blinded by my pride and more focused on “keeping up my reputation” than doing what was best for me. No societal implications or unspoken rules will ever cause me that stress again. It’s not worth it. Again, I realize that taking time off isn’t possible or desirable for everyone, and other people might have a better sense of the field they want to enter (I’m still uncertain). I just want to be open and honest about my situation.
I know people who seem like they have it all together, and from the outside it may look like I do too. Please know that is not always the case and I’m all about “faking it until I make it” and learning lessons, both big and small, along the way.
A few months of (productive) funemployment sounds pretty good to me.
*Linking up to Thinking Out Loud*
That’s awesome that you have the ability to take a break! I think that too many post graduation students just jump at the first opportunity that is offered and may be getting themselves caught in a path that they actually don’t want to be in. I hope you’ll be able to find something that suits you completely and is your true dream!
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Thanks, Morgan! That’s the no-plan “plan” :)
I struggled so much in college worrying about what people thought of me and that’s why I had a blog that I never launched my entire senior year! In college, you’re surrounded by so many people. They all know what you’re doing because you’re all right there. This year after graduation has been so freeing because I post whatever I want on my instagram, blog, twitter, you name it. Nothing matters after college. You can be or do whatever you want and there’s a new sense of societal freedom. It might feel like a big deal now to take time off, but you’re going to feel so good and confident about it once you separate yourself and move on to the next stage of life! Good for you for doing what’s best for yourself.
Margaret @ youngandrungry recently posted…First TOLT- You Don’t Have to Eat That
I waited almost a year to “go public” with my blog too (aka tell my friends). I’m so excited for this next phase in my life!
LOVE this post. I had the same struggle at first- I went to school and worked my butt off for so many years and then I felt like I had come out with nothing. My parents, fortunately, kept reminding me that they (and I) could afford to be a little picky about finding the right job. And they were right. I love my job and it was worth waiting for a few months to find it. I love that you can answer that confidently! It’s definitely not easy when people are asking a million questions about your plans. I forget how lucky I am to have the family I do, because I know some people really do have a ton of pressure to find that first job immediately.
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Knew you would relate ;) I remember reading your posts after graduation and being so happy when you got offered a job that fit! I hope I follow in suit.
I was really fortunate because I was offered a full time job before my senior year began. I had a great internship and then got hired full time, so I didn’t have to worry at all senior year. I also had flexibility in when I started, so I had the whole summer off. I took a trip to Europe for a month which was amazing and life changing! I seriously feel like traveling was the best thing for me to do, so I think you’ll really benefit from that. I used to be a really anxious person and super structured about life, but that all flew out the window once I saw the world!
BEFORE senior year? That’s incredible! I think a lot of college students take the summer after graduation off, so I’m thinking of the next few months (or however long) as my summer.
I always wonder what it would be like to jump into the career world after college. I didn’t do regular college, but I respect those who jump into the college adventure, because it seems intimidating to me. O_O I hope that the journey continues to be exciting and amazing!
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I think it’s really interesting to learn about other experiences so I’ll have to read up on your journey! Thanks for your support, Emily.
Coming upon graduation in the spring, I have had a lot of the same thoughts. Even though I know that I’ll be student teaching next year, it is still hard for me not to know where I’ll be teaching, what I’ll be teaching, etc. I am working on trying to embrace the unknown in these situations. I think taking some time off before entering the workforce will be so beneficial for you to figure out what you truly want to do. I am thankful that my parents have been supportive in my brothers and my own careers that they constantly tell us to wait until the right job comes by, even if that means waiting and interviewing for months after graduation to find the right fit.
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That’s so great to hear your family is supportive too. It takes so much pressure off and I can (try to) enjoy this time leading up to graduation instead of stressing.
Good for you to take some time off before diving in to the workforce! I did the same thing- I spent my summer after college backpacking around South America with my cousin. It was an amazing experience, something I won’t ever regret. I learned a lot about myself in just a few months- more than I would have at a desk job! I encourage everyone to travel post-graduation before they start working, if they can. Good luck and happy running! :)
Wow, amazing sounds like an understatement! I agree, I think we can learn more about ourselves (and the world/life) outside of the workforce.
Great post, Emily! You sound so much like me as I was finishing college. I was also always very Type A and had a plan for what was next. I love that you have a big list of everything you want to do… and I think it is so wise that you’re taking a little break before diving into the next thing. Enjoy it!!
Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted…Why do we love to take things to the extreme?
Thanks, Laura! I’m finally looking forward to this next phase. It’s freeing to let “plans” go.
That’s so great that you have a break to find a job that is best for you! I went immediately to grad school after college, and then realized partway through grad school that I wasn’t pursuing the career that was right for me. I finished my master’s and then was afloat, trying to find jobs but nowhere would hire me because of my advanced education but lack of experience, which ultimately pushed me into trying to freelance write and coach while being my own boss, which I love. Best of luck to you – it will all work out!
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I feel like I’ll eventually go to grad-school but right now I have no idea what I’d choose to study! I would love to be my own boss one-day. Thanks for the inspiration!
This is an amazing post! I’ve been in a similar situation myself. I haven’t graduated from college yet, but I’ve taken time off here and there to do things that I really wanted to do – like spend full time on my blog and learning photography and just having a good time. It’s against what is “normal”, but I’m so glad I took the time off! It made me grow so much more as a person – something college can’t teach you.
Have fun on your time off and live life! It’s amazing and I hope you have a blast :)
x Kelly
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Thank you for sharing your experience! I’m excited to explore/develop my interests- like learning photography, too!
I love this. Seriously. I remember one of the most stressful parts of senior year in college was answering the question “What’s next?” because everybody is going to have their own opinion of what you should/shouldn’t be doing (which is kind of annoying). I think it’s so awesome that you’re doing this!
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YES. That question has haunted me for a year. I was defensive in my answer for a long time, but now I’m very confident.
I think it’s awesome that you’re taking some time off and doing what’s right for you. I ended up doing that on a few occasions throughout my school life, and it’s actually something I would highly recommend to anyone if they have the chance to do it. School is great and all, but there are so many things that it can’t teach us, and taking some time off to learn about “the real world,” especially when we’re young, is super valuable. Enjoy this time, girl!!
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Thanks, Amanda! I think I’ve learned more from my experiences in college than the actual textbook stuff. So there’s only more to learn and enjoy outside of this bubble.
Congrats on making that decision! I graduated early and did not have a full job lined up after graduation. I was able to coach gymnastics until I a full time job and then lived with a friend to save money. It was great!
Kristin recently posted…Uptown Down-Home Chili From Rachel Ray
Thanks, Kristin! I would love to do something part-time (maybe teach Spinning).
I don’t know why you think this is “different”. Over the last few decades, it is much more the norm to move back home for awhile (especially with this economy), so there is no shame or anything with it. The majority of grads move home.
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It’s not the moving home that is “different” for me, it’s not having a job or a concrete plan for job-searching/interviewing. “Time off” was never on my radar until this semester, so it’s big for me to accept that I don’t have to go straight to a full-time job in order to be successful in life.
Your raw honesty and authenticity leaves me feeling refreshed, Emily. I don’t have any words of advice for you, seeing that I am still in my second year of university, but I do want to leave you with hope. You have a plethora of good works going for you, and there is not one bit in my head worrying over you. Not one. I’m so excited to follow along in this new phase of life for you. You’re going to thrive.
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me recently posted…Recovery Round Up [Information]
Your comments always make me smile :) Thank you so much!
I’m in the same boat, girl! Graduating next month (just turned 21) and feeling kind of worried about jobs and such. I also decided to take some time off just because after 16 years of school and working full time, ya girl needs a break. Props to you because I know how hard it was!
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Ah good for YOU for making the decision too! Happy belated-birthday :)
I thought I knew exactly how to get what I wanted by going to grad school directly after college. Then I got the wrong degree. And never got a job doing what I actually wanted to do. And now I am where I am. Bottom line? Life is constantly changing. As long as you are willing to adapt, you can do whatever you want to with it. :D
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After the first two years of college I pretty much decided I didn’t want to work in the field I (will) major in. I know there’s not one “perfect” job but I think if I adapt, like you said, I can find one that fits!
I know exactly what you are going through. After many frazzled applications during my final year at uni just to try and have ‘something in place’, I got accepted onto a graduate scheme in a field that I wasn’t really sure about.
There was no harm in trying so I moved to London to take up the role. However, it wasn’t for me BUT unlike at uni where I stuck with something I hated, this time I walked away. And to be honest, I am so glad I did.
Like you, I am lucky that my parents are able to support me in the short term with regards to rent, and so far this period of ‘unknown’ has given me the opportunity and space to get some different experiences (interning in a Start-Up running brand for example!) and really try to understand what I enjoy rather than what I am expected to do regardless.
Funemployement sounds like a very good plan to me! I hope it gives you some inspiration, but more importantly, some time to rest and pursue the hobbies and interests that have taken a back seat during your academic years. :)
xx
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Reading this makes me so happy (and reassured!). I stuck with my major, even though it’s not something I loved, but do not want to do the same with a job. I’m glad you made the best choice for you :)
I got my job the fall of my senior year, but I didn’t start until July. I took that signing bonus and I traveled to Asia with my (then) boyfriend! I’m one of those people that loves have a plan as well, so it was nice for me to relax most of senior knowing that I was set with this job, but I do know that the majority of jobs don’t even hire until you are ready to start so you really can’t plan in December for a job you want in Aug!
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That sounds like an incredible beginning to post-grad life. I applied to a bunch of jobs earlier this semester but all said they wanted someone to start immediately. That’s when I started getting discouraged.
There is nothing that I regret more than jumping straight into pharmacy school without truly considering where my true passions lie! That sounds awful, and I think that everything happens for a reason (aka meeting my husband) but I think it’s so awesome to really think about what you want to do and give yourself some time off. I also think it’s incredibly mature to be able to step away from what the world and others think of you and just do what makes you happy. There is nothing that can replace that <3
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Thank you so much for your comment, Katie. I love your blog :) It has been a huge lesson in doing what makes me happy instead of worrying what the world thinks of me. I have a feeling it will benefit me more in the long run.
I support this 100% I thought I knew what I wanted to do and was told no by God each time. Now, I wait until He tells me what I should do. I do not plan, I let the grand master plan for me. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made :-)
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Thanks, Ellie :) I’m glad you feel confident in your decision too.
I’m proud of you for doing what’s best for you! You deserve it after all of the hard work you’ve put in, especially the extra work that goes into graduating early. I would have killed to have been able to take time off before grad school. I’m sure in time you will find the best opportunity for you, but enjoy doing things you enjoy while you can!
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Thank you, Sam! Sometimes I don’t feel like I “deserve” it, because so many people work hard. But I’m lucky to be in a situation where I can afford a few months of a break :)
Good for you! I wish I took more time between college/grad school/real life to figure out! Enjoy the time – you deserve it :)
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Thanks, Jamie! Hope all is well with you.
good for you ! i wish i would have / could have done that ! just the other day i was thinking….my next chance for any meaningful time off is retirement ! i dont have and dont plan to have kids so assuming i always have a job (lets hope so !) i will have worked since i was 15 years old up to retirement straight through with no long break. the longest i’ve had to this point is 2.5 weeks between jobs and that was a very scary 2.5 weeks (i was living paycheck to paycheck). i guess men have had this all along since obviously they dont get 3 months for maternity leave so its certainly nothing new but its just a crazy thought. this is why taking the time to make sure you get the RIGHT job at the start is so important so kudos to you !
It is a crazy thought to have to work for so many years. But I guess (and hope) if you find a job you love the years don’t feel so long and daunting.
This post seriously speaks to me in more ways than one. I was supposed to graduate this year, but I decided to take a year out and gain skills, travel, understand myself better instead. I, like you, always appeared to have my sh*t together. I always worked hard, got good grades and had a plan, now going from there to a place where I barely know what my next move will be has been one of the most liberating things I could have done. Learning to ignore the judgments of others as well has been an important lesson that will stay with me for life:) So yeah, good for you for staying true to yourself and doing what feels right rather than just following the crowd. I have every hope that you’ll find the career and job you were looking for!
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I’m so glad you resonated with this post, Amy! I wish the same to you :)
You’re very lucky to be able to have this time! I was only 20 when I graduated too, but I jumpe straight into law school two months later and looking back wish I could have had a break – I didn’t have that opportunity as my parents would have let me be at home but I would have had to get a real job and either way it was a leap. So happy you get to explore for a little fun employment time!
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Another fellow young graduate :) My cousin went from undergrad straight to law school and I remember saying, “don’t you want to take a break.” But I also completely understand having the momentum to power through and finish what you started, especially if you know what you want to do.
That definitely was not me – I had NO idea what I was doing when I wandered into law school. I’m not sure I would go if I had the chance to go back. Then again, who knows what “could have been” – that’s why I think it’s so great you have some time off, so you can really think about what you want and not wonder “what if”!
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I’m hoping with time to think and learn about jobs/career fields I can find something I enjoy. That job will probably change throughout my career but I’d like to explore my interests now.
I completely remember this time of senior year! I was in a similar situation and it worked out great. It’s kind of like that part of senior year in high school when everyone’s figuring out which college they’re going to- it can feel like SO much pressure/ comparison but give it a couple months and no one cares! You’re smart to take the time to find what works for you, rather than rushing into something you’re not crazy about just so you have something to say when people ask, “so, what are you doing when you graduate?”
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Yes, it feels just like senior year of high school. The fear of judgement if you did or didn’t get into a certain school or picked the “less challenging” school, etc. You’re right, no one cares after a few months!
I learned the same lesson when we graduated high school! All my friends went straight into college, but I took a gap year to work and earn some money, AND have some fun on the side. It was the right choice for me, but I definitely got judged by some people. They just didn’t understand it. At all.
I had a plan when I got to college, but that has since gone out the window. Ha. I have changed majors, minors, degrees, AND universities in the space of two years. It hasn’t messed me up too much, but I am graduating a year later than I had planned. Such is life.
As for plans for after college? I have none haha. I want to travel, but I also want to get involved in corporate life. I want to settle down, but I want to see the world. I want to start writing, but I want to pursue photography. I want to go to work, but I want to finish a graduate degree. Life is better with no plan! Haha. That being said, fun-employment does sound like a good time. I might have to consider that for my ‘non-plan plan’ ;)
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Jump on the fun-employment board ;) But I completely understand. There are so many things I want to do, and some of them conflict each other. This isn’t where I thought I’d be when I graduated from high school but it’s working out ok!
While I did try to jump on the job searching band wagon straight out of college (I graduated a semester early), I felt like a failure when I could not find the right job. Months went by…even a couple years went by. I did have a couple of jobs but I knew they were not long term. I struggled for a while, knowing the right job was out there for me and I was not going to give up. Gladly, I have finally found what feels like a perfect fit at the perfect company for me! I love my job and my coworkers. Waiting it out and following your gut can lead to great reward.
I’m so glad to hear you have found a job you love! I know that my first job will very likely not be my last job, as people leave/change jobs frequently. But that’s still something I need to process.
I think it’s fantastic to take off some time since you can! I worked at a daycare in the summer then went on to subbing in the fall, which is what I’ve done. I wish I could have done some other things before getting into work. Take advantage of time you have!
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Thanks, Heather :) I’m getting excited for the next few months!
Oh Emily….I can’t tell you HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS. I have been stressing about ‘May’ so much. Graduating and not being sure of what comes next is my biggest nightmare. I am letting it bother me so much that I’m not evem emjoying my last year. I have my GRE scheduled and am already freaking out about when I’ll have time to start grad school applications. All of this while I really don’t even know what I want or want to do! I am just a ball of confusion, worry, and uncertainty. It’s so nice to hear I am not a alone in this. Ideally, I’d loooove to take some time off. I feel like I need some time to collect myself and figure out what direction I want to take. I am always one known to have a plan and know what comes next so thinking about just sort of winging it scares the living crap out of me. But I think I need it, I really do. Mind if I reach out to you to chat about this more once I gather my thoughts a bit? I so appreciate your insight into this girl. Please feel free to write more on this topic!! <3
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Hi Kaila! I’m so glad you could relate to this topic too (but also sorry you’re feeling the same things). I really wasn’t enjoying my last year either (like STILL caring so much about grades and what people would think if I didn’t have a plan), but it feels so good to have let that go. But it’s always a work in progress. Absolutely! I’d love to talk/vent more about it :)
Wow, I absolutely love this post, and your honesty. I have lived my life as a perfectionist, as Brene Brown says always trying to please and perform. I graduated college early and felt so much pressure to find a job that I would be proud of ASAP. I think the best thing I did for myself was to take a week off and go on my second service trip to Honduras a few months after graduation. It allowed me to slow down, and when I returned I saw that I could take my time to find a job. I’ve tried to maintain that mentality for the subsequent two years, in which I’ve moved twice and always found a job that was a great fit for me.
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Great post Emily! Even though I am coming up on my 4th year in the workforce, I completely understand. I had a “plan” when graduating, and fortunately I worked hard enough and an opportunity opened up for me that I jumped on. But I look back and think “Would it really have been so bad to take some time off if I had to?” Or more so, I think about other cultures/societies, Europe and Australia, where it is common to take a gap year b/w HS and university. I hate how go-go-go the US mindset is when it comes to education, landing the perfect job, making your career your #1 priority. And if you take a break, it is looked at as if you’re not working hard enough, or it wasn’t planned and you’re lacking motivation, etc. Anyways, that was a long rant. But I am sure you’ll find just what you’re looking for upon graduating :)
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Thanks, Ashley! I considered taking a gap year between HS and college because I’m so young for my grade. But I wanted to just “get it over with.” It was probably not the best decision because it took me longer to adjust to college. Oh, and I COMPLETELY agree that there’s a societal notion that if you’re not working hard at the moment, you’re lacking motivation. Not always true.
Post undergrad and post med school I went home! It felt good to take a much needed break. If you have the luxury to take time off, do it! Once you start working it literally never ends LOL
And, summer vacation is non-existent. So enjoy this time of transition! You deserve it!
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So I’ve heard that’s how the workforce is…WORK forever (and then die lol). Thanks for your supportive words!