If you’ve read any one of my posts you’d know that my family is the most important thing to me. We are all really close and spend more time together than most families/people I know. I like it that way and don’t want it to change. But after living on my own for three years I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the readjustment to home life. A readjustment period exists, for both parents and students.
Admittedly, my readjustment is unique and not across-the-board for college students. While I don’t get “nagged” for stereotypical things (I have job, I don’t drink and I go to bed the same time as my parents #truelife), I still need reminders that I can’t and shouldn’t be as “selfish” as I am at school.
*These are by no means complaints or significant changes, just observations.*
Home sweet Tampa home
My schedule/time is not always my own. When I’m at school, “I DO WHAT I WANT” (said in a deep, tough guy voice). For example, I eat dinner when I’m hungry, pick my daily activities on a whim and can choose to say “yes” or “no” to calendar invites. At home, we eat family dinners (which I love) when everyone gets home for the day. Sometimes that happens later than my hangry self would like and/or it’s not what I would pick to eat.
Additionally, I sometimes have to tag along to already scheduled events and obligations. There have been a few times when I’ve felt like a high school student because I was being told what to do, either literally or via “I’m disappointed in you’s.” I’ve had to rearrange plans to do certain family things, some of which I protested. Selfish much? I fully support the notion “I live under your roof, I will obey your rules” but a reminder never hurts.
Chores are a must. I’m pretty good at certain household chores (dishes are my thing) but laundry and typical cleaning stuff? Fo’get about it. I can’t and shouldn’t just do my own laundry and that be “enough.” Luckily, my room is the only room on the second level of our house so my bedroom mess goes unseen.
I have to share my food. JOEY EMILY, DOESN’T SHARE FOOD. Please tell me you understand my reference. No, I don’t have to pay for groceries while I’m home but I often forget that other people can open the fridge and grab what they want.
Money (still) doesn’t grow on trees. After freshman year I had some weird assumption that my family would pay for everything when I was home. HA! While I’m fortunate enough to get some special treatment, I still pay for my own “extras.” I work a lot during the school year so I do feel good about buying things on my own.
I can’t always nap in peace. This was a big challenge at first but I’ve persevered. Just had to end with a joke ;)
Honestly, 85% of the time I feel relaxed and normal when I’m home. Good food, a loving family and nights of Jeopardy games will do that to ya! However, there some little and silly challenges I’ve experienced over the years. I love being at home, which I know is something not everyone says. I value both my family time and my leisure time so it’s just a matter of balancing the two.
I always have to readjust to living back home, even for Thanksgiving break or winter break. My family & I are close like yours, but there are still things I am used to doing while living on my own at school that just don’t fly at home. I think that as much as I live differently at school, my parents have adjusted to being “empty nesters” and have changed how they live at home too, so it takes readjusting on all of our parts when we are all home together.
Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie recently posted…Back to the Beach Half Marathon 2015
My parents aren’t empty nesters yet (almost!) so I can imagine it will take more readjusting on their part when my sister and I come home.
I went through this same thing when I moved home after college. I felt like such an adult, so it felt weird to still have “rules” at home, and I didn’t like that. Even though it’s great to have free room and board, I missed having a bit more freedom. It was never a bad thing living at home (so I don’t suggest leaving right away like I did). It’s good that you can acknowledge what’s good and what’s bad, and hopefully can be more happy that way!
I definitely plan on coming back home after I graduate for many reasons (free room and board being one of them!). I feel lucky to have the opportunity to do that.
I don’t and never have had chores…ever, but I clean by myself because I want to! Haha! Plus I cook and everyone can test out my recipes, etc. There really isn’t any major family home readjustments here!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine recently posted…6 Steps For A Safe Gluten-Free College Experience
Well that’s good! No chores, huh? Jealous ;)
Oh readjusting to living at home is tough, no matter how much we love our families! We are get set in our ways and when those ways collide it is always interesting, comical, and obviously sometimes drives us bat crazy. But that view is beautiful and we’re so grateful that we can come home and have a safe place to live and feel loved!
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You said it perfectly! I’m so grateful for having a safe and welcoming place.
I love reading your posts since they let me reminisce about college days! I definitely remember having to “readjust” during summers or winter breaks. One thing I remember that I now feel like a b**** for not liking, but when I would first get out of bed in the mornings my mom would have already been up for hours and would talk my ear off as I drank coffee. I like to wake up slow and have some alone/quiet time, but she would have like a list of questions the moment I woke up. It drove me insane when I was living at home haha now I miss our morning conversations!
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Oh the questions and to-do’s. I’m greeted with them most mornings :) I know I will eventually miss them. I like my quiet time and sometimes feel like the house is too chaotic for my liking (but it’s really not).
Hahaha LOVE your friends reference! I’ve been adjusting to moving home after college while I take a gap year before grad school and its been such a process. Honestly the hardest thing is sharing food…especially when you go from 4 years of buying food for 1 person and having your own designated food space, to moving back home and having 4 other people always eating your beloved almond butter. (seriously we go through jars SO FAST)
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I’m glad someone else can sympathize about the food situation! Whenever I buy something I want I try to get extra to avoid freaking out haha
Totally get this. I haven’t spent more than a few weeks at home since I was 18 years old since I lived alone on the boat every summer, but when I’m home, I experience a lot of this. I live for family dinners- they’re my absolute favorite thing about being home and if my parents ask where I want to sit (aka watch a movie during dinner or at the table), I choose the table every time. I hear you on the timing though. Sometimes I want dinner at 5:30, not 7 or 8 like my parents might prefer. And sharing food– NOBODY touch my ice cream or it’s war. Like you, I never drank, I go to bed before my parents usually, and I’ve never really broken any of their “rules,” but it’s a little weird following someone else’s schedule. It just takes some adjustment before it feels normal again :)
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Knew you’d understand! My parents want to eat dinner late at night too. Why postpone the best time of the day?! Two weeks in and life is feeling pretty much back to normal. Just in time for me to readjust to NY haha
I am similar to you in the sense that my family is my everything, and I can relate to everything here! Back at college, if I wanted dinner, I could have dinner. Now, I have to wait until everyone comes home from their errands or jobs. Not complaining, just something I forgot I had to do!
Your reference to Friends made LOL. You’re the best Emily.
Favorite chore: vacuuming! I will do it for anyone at any time!
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me recently posted…Giving Up Exercise: The Science
Exactly…not necessarily a complaint, just a small adjustment. I don’t mind vacuuming either. My dog hates when anyone does it though ;)
I can relate to a lot of these! Both from being home for summers and moving back home. The hardest was having to clean my room/things the way my parents wanted it. Even though it was MY room, it was unacceptable that it be messy…ugh…lol And the napping thing!! I could never just relax and nap! but like you said, I love my family and love spending time with them, and now that I’ve moved out, I cherish those times with them even more.
Patty @ Reach Your Peak recently posted…Week 20/52 of Training – 2015
Yay for a fellow nap love ;) I’ve had to strategically plan my naps and relaxation time.
I can definitely relate to adjusting during the summer while I was at school. I often felt like I reverted to my high school habits when I got home and was a lot less mature than I would be a college because I would settle into my old routine.
Even going from 7 months living alone to now getting used to a roommate is an interesting adjustment (but I now know I’d much rather live with someone)
When I’m home part of me wants freedom and part of me wants the “babying” (for lack of a better word). Living with roommates is an adjustment too and I’m nervous for living with new roommates this summer.
1) That’s the only way anyone should say “I DO WHAT I WANT”
2) I miss napping in peace. So true.
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I was woken up twice during my nap today. Nice to have someone who sympathizes with my craziness.
I think one of the biggest adjustments for me has been eating schedules, too. At school, it was fun to just eat dinner whenever I got hungry, whether it was 5:00 or 7:30. We have family dinners at home, which I really appreciate, but it does sometimes mean that I’ll be hungry at 5:30 and have to eat a big snack because we’re not eating until 7:00. So, not a huge deal, but definitely an adjustment!
Liv @ Healthy Liv recently posted…Summer Workout Playlist + Plank Challenge
I’m the same way! If my dad says he won’t be home until 7 that is code for “eat a snack so you don’t get hangry.”
Friend reference for the win! Before moving abroad I lived at home for a while after graduating and it was definitely a readjustment. I am returning next month and will be living with my parents again for at least a little while. I love my family as well but it’s definitely difficult to go back when you’ve been living on your own for a while.
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The initial transition is the hardest, but I feel like all transitions are. I plan to live at home after graduation for a little while too.