Overthinking

The freedom that comes with vacation means ample time for thinking. In my case, overthinking. One minute I can be happy-go-lucky just surfing the internet and the next I’m worrying about my schedule this semester. Worrying so much that I stop what I’m doing and search for different classes on my school’s website.

Additionally, I tend to dwell upon past experiences and wonder what life would be like if I did things differently. For example, I often wonder what life would be like if I went to a different college. If I hadn’t moved so many times. If I joined a certain school organization over the ones I’m in. If I didn’t cut my hair yesterday…OK not really dwelling over that, just wanted to share a picture ;)

Haircut

Short hair, don’t care ;)

I have no doubt that overthinking is not healthy. In fact, I feel like it’s the source of a lot of my “problems.” Looking back at past worries, I see that 95% of the time, the reality was not as bad as I imagined. Even in the 5% case where the situation was actually bad, why did I have to put myself through the “suffering” beforehand? Why did I want to make myself miserable before the situation? Sometimes I think it’s a coping mechanism so I can prepare for the situation, but being unhappy now won’t make the future any easier. I think it might make it feel worse than it really is.

stop overthinking

Not sure if any of my rambling makes sense, but I guess what I’m getting to is the importance of concentrating on today. I need to live with past decisions and just make the most of them from here on out. I want to redirect my attention to the present moment and occupy my mind with something other than the past. As for future (non-life changing) decisions, for a Type-A planner like me, it might be best to just calm down and go with the flow (<– Which is way easier said than done).

That, or I could just go for a run. Somehow, running solves all. 

How do you ease your worries?

Any plans this weekend?

My Competition

better than yesterday

With all the pressure to be the best in our respective environments (school, work, gym, etc.) this quote seems to have a good message: Don’t compare yourself with others, just with who you were yesterday. But my Type-A personality takes this quote to a whole other level…

I have a history with putting pressure on myself. Pressure to get an A on a test, to workout X number of times a week, to eat balanced meals and to be the best version of me. I understand that this quote can be motivating and that many people might not interpret the quote in such an intense or in-depth way. But for me, I’m often my own worse competition.

I’ve had instances when I’ve taken this pressure to another level in order to “beat” yesterday’s me. For example, if I ran 4 miles yesterday, I have to run 5 today. If I got a 90 on a test next time I have to work harder to get a 95. This is an unhealthy cycle and one I’ve gotten trapped in as I tried to reach an unattainable level of perfection.

inadequate

Even today I had some negative, competitive thoughts as I contemplated how much I wanted to run. Yesterday I ran 4.5 miles so I thought I had to run at least 5 today. But 3 miles into the run I just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to stop but my mind was telling me to keep going because I hadn’t even reached yesterday’s mileage. Luckily, I realized how silly it sounded that I was forcing myself to run farther because I had to meet or beat yesterday. I’m not training for anything right now and no one is forcing me to run, so why should I add any pressure? I stopped my run at 3 and called it a day.

I’ve gotten better at recognizing instances of self-competition and have made an effort to reset any “expectations” to a normal level. I hope to reach a point where I can apply this quote to my relationships, attitude and service and not things like grades, exercise or food. I just want to feel content with today and not worry about surpassing tomorrow’s goals.

How do you interpret this quote? (Top quote)