When I was little I hated sleepovers. I was that girl who called her parents at midnight to come pick her up. I may or may not have made them drive an hour away to a different state to get me. While I don’t remember my exact feelings, I believe my late-night call home had more to do with feeling uncomfortable in a new situation/environment than it did with actually missing my parents. Don’t quote me on that.
Ironically, not much has changed today. Even though I am fully capable of living on my own, I still use my phone-a-parent lifeline in times of change and transition (along with a million other reasons). Thank goodness I have more than three lifelines or I’d be screwed. That uncomfortable and often indescribable feeling of nervousness, confusion and anxiety throws me for a loophole. I tense up and panic. Exhibit A: moving back to school this weekend.
I used to be embarrassed for admitting my struggles throughout college (mainly NOT fitting in with the stereotype) but I’m over it now. Truth be told, I have never been excited to go back to school after an extended break. I wrote about it last year as a junior and now I am a senior admitting it again. Does it mean I’m not happy here? No. Actually, I don’t know *exactly* what it means. What I DO know is that transitions are hard for me. Always have been.
Some people love the thrill of newness and change, others want comfort and routine. Take a wild guess which group I fall under…
Source
Similar to adjusting to life in New York this summer (which was 100% brand new), I need some time to re-adjust to life at school. This is only like 20% new (classes/jobs) but life feels foreign after being gone for more than three months. I know everything will feel “normal” soon and I’ll probably forget about this state, however, I think it’s important to acknowledge that this state exists. Maybe it doesn’t exist for everyone but it does for me.
I tend to block out hard times in my life. I guess it makes sense that I’m running my 3rd marathon…apparently I need to be reminded AGAIN what miles 22-25 feel like. Yet because I know there will be MANY more times of transition and change in my future I’m starting to think that documenting my feelings now will be beneficial in the long run. Maybe? Wishful thinking?
If anything maybe my rambles can be some encouragement for anyone in the midst of a transition (of any size) that growing pains are normal. No matter the situation, it takes time for the chaos to settle and for things to fall into place. But they will fall into place. You CAN quote me on that.
I love this thank you for sharing!!! I was always this way and yes, I’m 23 and am still the same. My parents’ phones ring when I need someone to listen, and it probably will happen for many years to come haha :)
Christina recently posted…Greek-Inspired Chicken Bowl
I don’t think there will be an age cap on my life-line usage (there better not be!)
The whole sleepover thing… YES! I distinctly remember calling my parents because I didn’t want to spend the night, even though I was surrounded by my friends having fun. I think it was the whole “being uncomfortable” with a new environment. Transitions have always been tough on me, like the transition from elementary school to middle school, but I think having those lifelines available to us makes those transitions a bit smoother.
Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie recently posted…Silver Lake Family Vacation 2015
Yes! Like I loved being with my friends all day but as soon as night time hit I wanted to go home. I know it’s a common thing for younger kids but I probably went past the age of “normal” ha
I can absolutely relate. When I went away to boarding school for the first time, I think I cried every single night for the first month I was there. Adjusting to change does not come easy to me. I always assumed it was because I’m an only child and therefore never had to really deal with any “adjustments” to my routine. But I think now that I just prefer stability. I work hard to have consistency in my life, and when big changes/transitions occur, I often have a hard time accepting them. I even feel overwhelmed leaving for or coming home from vacation. Hope you have a fabulous Monday – thanks for sharing such a thoughtful post!!
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Have you done a post on your boarding school experience? That is so interesting to me. I prefer stability and routine too…and vacations (as much as I love them) can throw me for a loop mentally.
I should probably do a post on it… it was definitely a very different experience! :)
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I hope your transition goes as smoothly as possible this week, Emily! Sending good thoughts your way :)
Liv @ Healthy Liv recently posted…Mason Jar Salads 101
Thanks, Liv! Hope all is well with you so far.
Thanks for sharing this! It’s interesting to hear a different perspective, because I’m pretty opposite. For some reason, I never really feel connected to any places so change is really easy for me. In college, I was always excited to head back to school and never got homesick and never took trips back home during the school year. I feel like I’m missing the gene that makes you feel like one place is “home”, because I just don’t feel that emotional connection to places. It’s kind of weird, but also kind of good to not have to deal with all those tough emotions you’re going through.
I hope that this year goes well for you and you enjoy your final year of college!
It’s so interesting to hear YOUR perspective. I can see how there are positives and negatives to not feeling the emotional connection to places. I’ve moved around a lot and it wasn’t until I went to college that I felt so connected to my home. But really I’m just connected to my family and comfort zone I think.
I love that you are so open with your struggles and not ashamed of them (you shouldn’t be as I think most people can relate to this!). In college I remember feeling exactly the same when I would go back to school. I always felt weird because everyone else seemed to not be having a hard time adjusting, though now I know people just don’t talk about that and are ashamed too. And you’re right, everything passes eventually and you will feel “normal” soon. The period of transition is always tough even if you’ve done it many times!
I always felt alone in the “adjustment period” because everyone was so happy to be back. It did make me feel weird in the beginning but now I know that a) it’s not weird and b) people struggle in different ways.
it’s always good to acknowledge how you’re feeling! This too shall pass :)
Pragati // Simple Medicine recently posted…Zucchini and Mushroom Meatless Meatballs
It’s slowly passing already. Thanks, Pragati!
Haha, I was that sleepover girl too ;)
No one LIKES to go back to school, away from the comfort of familiarity and love of home and family, but somehow we always do and we always make it through! You have already done so much awesome crazy stuff (like go to NYC) by yourself, you are just a super star and should believe in yourself always and forever! I know you can do it (and so do you) ;)
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine recently posted…Raw Spiralized Thai Salad
You’d be surprised how many of my friends LOVE going back to school. It makes me feel like the odd-one-out. Even two days after writing this post I’m feeling much better :)
I think we share the same brain!!
I feel like I could’ve written this myself…only not as coherently ;)
Thank you for this. At least I know I’m not alone 💗
I think we share the same brain!!
I feel like I could’ve written this myself…only not as coherently ;)
Thank you for this. At least I know I’m not alone 💗💗
I’m so glad you can relate :) It’s always comforting to know we aren’t alone in our struggles and feelings.
I did the exact same thing with sleepovers. I was not a fan unless they were at my house, and when they were I still didn’t love them. Transitions are STILL hard for me. I literally could have written this post myself.
pickyrunner recently posted…Training 8/16-8/22
I think I was okay with sleepovers at my house (don’t remember) but things like sleep-a-way camp were out of the question for me. Hope you’re having a blast in RI.
Once again, great post! My team recently moved to a new office (that is basically 1000% better than where we were before), but I’m still struggling to adjust to it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and I love it there, it just really throws me to have a different routine. It helps to remember that it too will pass, and this feeling will go away relatively quickly.
Rebecca @ MyEagerFeet recently posted…Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon: Week 4
I’m the same way even with “exciting” transitions! Basically anything new throws me for a loop. The feeling of uncertainty goes away much quicker now than it did a few years ago, which is great.
I could have written this myself, down to the sleepover part. Transitions are so complicated. I always feel like I shouldn’t need my lifelines, since everyone else seems totally okay. Still, I use them so much. I remember when I moved into school last year, everyone said I (and freshman in general) shouldn’t call or text family for at least a week. Um, no. If you need help or advice or reassurance, I think you should ask for it. It’s so much better than bottling it up and pretending you’re fine and I think it helps you actually be fine much faster. Thanks so much for sharing! It’s always nice to know I’m not alone in feeling like this.
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…Sweet & Nutty Snacks (+ Recipes)
YES! People said that to both me and my parents during my freshman year. Um, no thank you. Those reassuring texts from my parents have been life saving in times of transition.
p.s. it’s nice to know I’m not alone either :)
I can relate! I’ve always had a hard time adjusting to change. I always feel really overwhelmed and anxious for a few weeks before I really get into a new routine. You don’t even want to hear about my first semesters of undergrad or grad school, haha :) Good luck this week!
Danielle @ yogapantsandpizza recently posted…Monongahela River Trail (South) + Weekend Recap
My first semester freshman year was a blur because I did not deal with the transition well at all. Luckily I’m MUCH better now, even though I’m still not where I want to be.
great post ! i am similar in that change/transition is hard for me. i think partly because during change i tend to re-evaluate things and that makes me uncomfy. and i also set goals and those can seem intimidating. im also sometimes a “plan for the worst” then be so excited for the best when it comes type person. i have definitely improved over time so there is certainly hope ! maybe you need to set on your calendar like 60 days from now a time to look back and this post and write how it actually went…what of the change was bad and what was awesome. then next time you can read both sides of your own thoughts and feel even more confident that this to shall pass ?
That is such a great idea to write a follow up post in a few months! I just put a reminder on my phone. Thanks for the suggestion :)